I Won't Back Down

In case you didn't notice from the title, I'm back using song themes again today.  I kind of like inserting music videos into my posts, so this will probably become a regular feature from here on out.  And since I am such a music junkie, it seems quite natural for me to have taken this turn.  Today's selection, Johnny Cash's I Won't Back Down, pretty much perfectly describes my feelings towards this whole trying to conceive process at this moment.  As of yesterday, it became official that this month's IUI was once again unsuccessful...BOO!!!  But I'm not going to let that deter me.  I knew this process was not easy nor guaranteed to work the first couple of go rounds...well it's not really guaranteed to work at all, but that's not the mindset I prefer.  I prefer staying positive!

So, on to the positive side...

Tomorrow I go in for yet another ultrasound to once again check my girly parts and make sure they are in good working order. I have no doubt they will be, but this must be done at the beginning of every new cycle. Tomorrow I will also discuss with my doc which next aggressive step I can take. Last month I went from all natural IUI (my first round was with no meds) to 50 mg Clomid with this last IUI. I'm not sure what the next step will be, but I prefer not standing in one place for too long. The most important thing to me, something I will be insisting upon, is a completely monitored cycle this round. No more relying on just the OPK (ovulation predictor kit) to tell me when I'm IUI ready.  This time I want additional ultrasounds throughout my cycle to make sure my follicles are maturing properly and being released without a hitch.

I have a feeling not a single male will get this one!

I want to know for 100% certain that I am ovulating normally. Sure I'm getting my LH surge every month, but I want to know that my egg is definitely being hatched afterward (uber scientific terminology there) and within the normally expected time frame (12-48 hours after surge). It is not enough this time to rely on drug-store gadgets, this time I want the high-tech treatment!

Other things that may change this round...doc may decide to increase my Clomid to 100mg. I doubt this since I seem to ovulate without any problems, but who knows. Doc may also decide to go ahead and give me an hCG trigger shot rather than waiting for natural ovulation to occur. If this is the case, I will post later as to why he would choose to go this direction and explain further what it means. I feel no need to go into the details until I know for sure. For now I'm simply throwing possible scenarios around...these I've gleaned from other women's experiences. What I do know for certain is that if this round doesn't work, we may be looking at moving to IUI with injectables or possibly even IVF. My doc is one of those who doesn't believe in wasting precious time by repeating the same failed process over and over (and believe me when I say my time is precious at almost 38 years old ).

Yes!  I know already! Sheesh!!!

I really do like that about him...it makes me feel confident that my time will eventually come! Until then, however, I can pass the moments waiting by playing this fun little board game I found!

I'm sure this can be turned into a drinking game somehow! 

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