Walking on Sunshine

Woooah, and don't it feel good! 

*happy dances*

Finally getting around to updating again and boy have a lot of things changed!  Last time I blogged, a real blog not just a quick announcement, I was gearing up for my mid-cycle ultrasound preceding my 3rd round of IUI.  The ultrasound went great!  I ended up having 3 follicles (future eggs) ready for release.  One large one in my left ovary and two slightly smaller but still mature ones in my right.  Basically this meant the Clomid worked like a charm!  

Basically, this is what the follicles look like via ultrasound. 

Besides finding out I had a few good eggs, I also was informed via afternoon phone call that my blood test indicated I was actually having my LH surge and that I would need to come back in the following morning for the IUI.  This came as somewhat of a surprise considering the OPKs (Ovulation predictor kits) were still reading negative.  I had explained to my doc that I felt I was ovulating earlier than the OPK was predicting the previous months, and don't you know that a woman knows her body way better than any instrument of science!  Basically what I'm saying here is that I was right!  

When the doc called me with the surge news, he also informed me I would no longer need to take the Ovidrel shot he had prescribed me.  Since this shot is for inducing ovulation, and I was obviously once again ovulating on my own without a hitch, this meant the shot was obsolete.  Well, I hate to admit this, but I took my fertility into my own hands at this point.  Although I was about to ovulate naturally, I read that some docs still had their patients take the shot as a little "extra boost."  I figured what the heck?  Couldn't hurt right?  Basically I wanted to guarantee that I ovulated within the right time-frame of my IUI and that all three of those eggs would release.  I know this increases the chance of multiples, but it also, more importantly, increases the chance of pregnancy as a whole.  And this being my 3rd IUI, I was ready for this to work!

I thought long and hard about taking the Ovidrel shot, did my research, weighed my options, and at 12:30pm I injected myself.  I felt I was truly making the right choice, and I had already proven once that my intuition was correct.  I did not however inform my doc of this move during my IUI the following morning.  Now I need to say here that I in no way condone making these types of decisions for yourself unless you are really comfortable with it and willing to accept fault if something goes wrong.  I have always been remarkably in-tune with my body, probably all those years of being a ballet dancer, and I just knew I was making the right decision.  Well, I guess I was once again correct (or it could just be coincidence) because I am pregnant!!!!  Okay, trying not to get ahead of myself, so I'll backtrack to the IUI.

I am the kind of girl who feels things deeply and takes things as signs (INFJ remember?).  My mom is Wiccan and I have a great deal of Pagan in me.  Mother nature gives us all kinds of signs, and there were several this month that pointed to a positive outcome.  Here is a brief synopsis of those:

Just knew this was going down!

1. My nieces stayed with us over the weekend post ultrasound and pre IUI.  My youngest niece is learning the art of reading Runes.  Her first simple reading, asking a simple yes or no question, revealed the answer as a very strong positive!  She informed us afterwards the question was about whether or not I would be pregnant this month.  The force is strong with that one!
2. My IUI, for the first time, went off without a hitch.  My cervix gave the doctors problems on both the first and second ones.  The first time it just wouldn't open right and it took two tries to insert the catheter.  On the second one my cervix pushed the catheter back out and once again it took a second try to do the injection.  On this 3rd go round the catheter went in with no resistance whatsoever!
3. My doctor told my mom in the hallway after the IUI that he would be seeing us in two weeks for my pregnancy blood test.  No word this time to call if I started my period.  It's like he even knew that this time was the right time.
4. I found my lost fertility gris-gris my mom gave me (remember I said she was Wiccan).  It had mysteriously disappeared out of my purse and mysteriously reappeared in my office chair a few days after my IUI.  And call me superstitious or whatever, but I immediately placed it under my mattress so it could work it's magic on my girly parts at night.  
5. My nipples never stopped hurting the entire two week wait.  This same symptom had occurred with my first IUI.  That was the one where I mysteriously started my period 6 days post IUI and a good full week ahead of schedule.  That was due to my uterine lining not being as thick as it needed to be to maintain a pregnancy, hence why they put me on meds to fix that issue.  I swear that first IUI worked, and I started bleeding (excuse the TMI) around the time implantation should have occurred.  In  my head I just know the two are connected--egg was fertilized, tried to implant in a non-ready uterus, and boom, fail!  I could be wrong, but I find it awfully coincidental that the sore nipple symptom was extremely prevalent in the first and third IUIs.  After both of them I just felt like it had worked.  I never really felt that way after the second one, although I maintained a positive outlook just the same.
6. My boobs began to swell.  I'm not a large girl, so any increase in breast size is definitely noticeable.  And they started to get sore after about a week and a half.  I just knew that was a good sign! 

So there you go, all my signs that to me were indicative of a successful IUI.  So when did I actually find out I was preggers you ask?  I had the IUI on July 16th and on July 24th I decided to test with an HPT (Home Pregnancy Test).  No, I wasn't expecting it to pick up any pregnancy hormones at this point.  This test was just to see if the Ovidrel shot had left my body yet.  You see, the Ovidrel contains hCG, the pregnancy hormone, and it can give you a false positive on an HPT if it has not yet left your system.  So when the HPT came back negative, I knew that any test showing a positive after that one would not be a false positive.  By that Friday, the 27th, I was itching to take another HPT!  I just knew in my soul that it was going to be positive!  I got up that morning and went straight to the bathroom to do the deed.  However, I then realized I was out of HPTs...the horror!  So I did the next best thing and pee'd on an OPK.  Now an OPK cannot reliably predict a pregnancy.  It is designed to pick up the LH hormone but can also pick up the hCG hormone.  Those two hormones have almost identical chemical make-ups.  One website describes them as being identical twins except that the hCG twin is wearing a hat.  

http://www.peeonastick.com/opkhpt.html

An OPK can pick up the hCG hormone along with the LH hormone, but an HPT can only pick up the hCG.  This is why you are not really supposed to use one in place of the other.  But I was anxious and used the OPK anyway.  And low and behold it was showing a faint positive line.  Normally I do not have a faint positive unless I am getting ready to have my LH surge.  So I took this as a very good sign and on the way to work I stopped in at the drug store and picked up some First Response 6 Days Sooner tests.  These are supposed to be the most sensitive ones on the market, so they seemed liked the right choice.

After getting to work, I waited about an hour and then couldn't stand it any long...I had to pee on one!  And the result?  A definite, albeit somewhat faint second line...a positive line!  WOOHOO!!!!  At 3:30 am, after waking from a dream that this was all in my head, I had to pee on another one...the second line was darker.  At 2:30pm later that day, I did it again...and once again the line had gotten darker!  I definitely was not crazy, all sticks pointed to a baby!

Top one is from the 27th and bottom is from the 28th!

Monday morning I called my doc and they had me come in for my blood work on Tuesday the 31st.  I anxiously waited all day for a callback.  At 4pm I finally got that callback.  My hCG levels were at 242.7, a very good number if not a little above average for where I am in my pregnancy.  I now have to go in again tomorrow for a second blood test to make sure my hCG levels are rising as they should and also to check my progesterone levels to make sure they are in the normal range.  

Needless to say, I am overly joyed and bouncing off the walls!!!  So far I am not really having any major pregnancy symptoms except for fatigue, needing to pee a lot, swollen boobs, and of course the ever fun bloating!  My progesterone meds also cause bloating, so I'm doubled up in that respect right now...literally!  But no morning sickness or weird cravings or other such stuff as of yet.  I'm sure those will be kicking in within the next two weeks, so you'll be hearing about all that soon enough.  

Well once again that catches everyone up to the present moment.  I would have blogged about it sooner, but just wanted to hold off knowing that the next time I got on here I would be sharing tremendously terrific news!  Hopefully everything will continue to go smoothly and I won't have any problems.  I am perfectly aware that there is always a chance for miscarrying this early on, hence why a lot of people choose not to announce a pregnancy till after the first trimester.  Some would say it is even bad luck.  However in my case, since I have chosen to document everything as it occurs, I felt it important to go ahead an announce the  news.  I will deal with things as they come, but I have that deeply felt intuition that everything will be hunky-dory!   

So amazing!  Best week ever!

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SQUEEEEE

At work and no real time to blog right now, but wanted to post this pic as a quick update!  Yes, that's a second line!!!!  Looks like I'm officially pregnant!  Full update to come later :-)

Faint but positive!

How You Like Your Eggs

Fried or fertilized?  Yes, I'm keeping with the song theme, and this one just always puts a smile on my face!  Thank you Turquoise Jeep!

Funny songs means once again it's time for an update on my girly parts.  As of my last post, I was heading in for an ultrasound.  That was Friday morning, and I know some people (at least I hope) are wondering how it went.  Well very good news...everything is still looking great and we are getting a bit more aggressive this month.  Like I predicted, my doc is keeping me on 50mg Clomid for this round.  Along with the Clomid, I will be going in for a mid-cycle ultrasound on the 15th.  I would call it Sunday brunch with the doc, but since the appointment is for 8am, well I can't even call that breakfast cause it's just too damn early!  This particular ultrasound will be to check and see how my follicles (a.k.a where the egg comes from) are responding to the Clomid.  In other words, Clomid is supposed to encourage smaller follicles to mature which then could lead to more than one egg being ovulated (This is how it works in my case since I already ovulate regularly).

If I have the right size follicles, the leading one should typically be at least 18mm-20mm at this point, then the doc will either tell me to take my Ovidrel injection or wait for natural ovulation to occur. Oh yes, the Ovidrel.

I swore I'd never stick a needle in me unless it was to get high!

Basically Ovidrel is an hCG trigger shot that induces ovulation. With the shot, I would ovulate within 24-48 hours later. Although I ovulate normally, we are looking to induce with the shot this month to:
A) Know more precisely when to do the IUI, even though the doc is confident our timing has not been an issue; and
B) The shot would make all my follicles release their eggs.  Therefore I would most likely have more than one egg viable and waiting for fertilization.  This, with the Clomid, carries a higher risk for twins (very low risk for other multiples) but that is a small risk to take in this process...one that I'm willing to take at this point.

Yes, this is how I imagine my eggs hatching after the trigger shot!

So, I imagine I'll be going with pricking myself with a needle this month instead of waiting for my LH surge.  I wanted to be more aggressive, and that is exactly what I'm doing.  Hopefully this will be the lucky month, as IUI #3 seems to be statistically the one to bet on!

So there you go, all nice and updated so you can now go back to work on Monday feeling all is right with the world.  Once again, keep all those fingers and toes crossed!

I Won't Back Down

In case you didn't notice from the title, I'm back using song themes again today.  I kind of like inserting music videos into my posts, so this will probably become a regular feature from here on out.  And since I am such a music junkie, it seems quite natural for me to have taken this turn.  Today's selection, Johnny Cash's I Won't Back Down, pretty much perfectly describes my feelings towards this whole trying to conceive process at this moment.  As of yesterday, it became official that this month's IUI was once again unsuccessful...BOO!!!  But I'm not going to let that deter me.  I knew this process was not easy nor guaranteed to work the first couple of go rounds...well it's not really guaranteed to work at all, but that's not the mindset I prefer.  I prefer staying positive!

So, on to the positive side...

Tomorrow I go in for yet another ultrasound to once again check my girly parts and make sure they are in good working order. I have no doubt they will be, but this must be done at the beginning of every new cycle. Tomorrow I will also discuss with my doc which next aggressive step I can take. Last month I went from all natural IUI (my first round was with no meds) to 50 mg Clomid with this last IUI. I'm not sure what the next step will be, but I prefer not standing in one place for too long. The most important thing to me, something I will be insisting upon, is a completely monitored cycle this round. No more relying on just the OPK (ovulation predictor kit) to tell me when I'm IUI ready.  This time I want additional ultrasounds throughout my cycle to make sure my follicles are maturing properly and being released without a hitch.

I have a feeling not a single male will get this one!

I want to know for 100% certain that I am ovulating normally. Sure I'm getting my LH surge every month, but I want to know that my egg is definitely being hatched afterward (uber scientific terminology there) and within the normally expected time frame (12-48 hours after surge). It is not enough this time to rely on drug-store gadgets, this time I want the high-tech treatment!

Other things that may change this round...doc may decide to increase my Clomid to 100mg. I doubt this since I seem to ovulate without any problems, but who knows. Doc may also decide to go ahead and give me an hCG trigger shot rather than waiting for natural ovulation to occur. If this is the case, I will post later as to why he would choose to go this direction and explain further what it means. I feel no need to go into the details until I know for sure. For now I'm simply throwing possible scenarios around...these I've gleaned from other women's experiences. What I do know for certain is that if this round doesn't work, we may be looking at moving to IUI with injectables or possibly even IVF. My doc is one of those who doesn't believe in wasting precious time by repeating the same failed process over and over (and believe me when I say my time is precious at almost 38 years old ).

Yes!  I know already! Sheesh!!!

I really do like that about him...it makes me feel confident that my time will eventually come! Until then, however, I can pass the moments waiting by playing this fun little board game I found!

I'm sure this can be turned into a drinking game somehow! 

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Sitting Waiting Wishing

I thought I would go ahead and continue my theme of song titles as post headers since they seem to be so appropriate (at least the titles) to my current situation.  So, my current situation...

So far, I'm still waiting for a sign...no positive HPTs (Home pregnancy tests) over the weekend and no sign of my cycle restarting as of right this minute.  Then again, today is my first day off the progesterone which is meant to delay my cycle. So as of this point, it's either I'm late with my hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) levels rising (possibly late implantation?) or I'm just not preggo. Either way, the waiting is making me nuts! Technically, if my cycle runs as it has in the past, my actual period is not due till tomorrow. However, due to the clomid this past cycle, I think it should be running closer to 28 days instead of the usual 30. But who knows, I'm not a doctor!

For my Star Wars fans! 

So there you go. I promised to keep everyone posted, and I lived up to my promise.  Of course, still keeps your fingers crossed that maybe my negative HPTs are just because of my current levels and that I am actually with child this month!  If that is not the case, then it is back to the docs probably Friday to start the process all over again.  Good thing is that the average IUI success rate is on the third go around.  If I have to do a third go around, then it'll be a highly monitored cycle with more ultrasounds to make sure my follicles are developing, maturing, and ovulating properly.  They may even decide to put me on some injectibles, but we'll wait to see on that one.  Although I will not look forward to another month of clomid and progesterone, I'll do what I must to get this little one on the way!  Guess I better reserve two more vials of goods from my donor just in case...

Dare you all to call this number!

or I could just text this guy!
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Waiting is the Hardest Part

Yes, Tom Petty said it best.  Although this song is not about the 2ww (two week wait) women suffer through to find out if that EPT will come out with a + or -, it still works...sort of.  Well, I'll run with that, cause Tom Petty rocks!!!  But I digress...

My last post stated I would not wait to tell the world that I had gone in for my 2nd IUI.  But I got busy packing and moving (yes, I decided to throw moving into the already complicated equation), and haven't really sat down to catch everyone up...until now.

So how much did you miss you ask?  Well if you didn't ask, I'm still going to tell you! :-)  I went in for my 2nd IUI on Sunday, June 17.  On the 16th, which was my CD14 (cycle day 14), I was very anxious about ovulating.  My doc said that since I was on Clomid, that if I hadn't gotten my LH surge by CD14, he wanted me to call and come in for an ultrasound and possibly and HCG trigger shot to induce ovulation.  The morning of the 16th I tested with an OPK (ovulation predictor kit) at around 8am...no surge.  I tested again at 2pm, still no surge.  At that point I called my doc and he said to come in on the 17th at 8:340am and we would decide on how to proceed.  That afternoon I went to pack up some boxes and stuff at my now previous abode; and well, I just began to feel a bit funny.  So afterwards I decided to do another test, this was around 7:45pm.  Normally I would never test three times in one day, but I just felt like I needed to at that point.  Well good thing I did because I got my surge!  So I called my doc back, gave him the news, and my 8:30am ultrasound appointment turned into my 2nd IUI appointment, yay!!!

So now what?  Now I'm once again in the midst of the dreaded two week wait.  I'll admit that at 6 days post IUI, I was a nervous wreck.  Last month that was the day my entire system went bonkers!  So naturally I was worried this month may be the same.  My doc did put me on Progesterone to help extend my cycle, so that was a bit of comfort but didn't complete alleviate my worry.  Needless to say, day 6 has come and gone and I'm still waiting, which is a very good thing!  Today I am 10 days post IUI.  If I read my body correctly this month, that would correspond to 10 days past ovulation (10dpo).  By this weekend, I should be ready to pee on a completely new kind of stick, the EPT kind!  Woohoo!!!

The one on the right represents my mom!

Many women at this point go ahead and drag themselves through testing way too early, only to be left with a pile of negative tests (false or not).  I am doing my best not to be one of those women!  I may test Friday morning, though.  While this will still technically be early and a false negative is most likely, I may not be able to handle waiting any longer!

I should probably follow the advice at www.countdowntopregnancy.com and not test till Sunday, but I can't promise anything!

Sunday Jul. 1, 2012 Expected period

14 dpo

Expected Period. This is the best day to test! You should miss your period today if you are pregnant! Accuracy rate of most pregnancy tests on or after the first day of your expected period is 99%. If your cycle length varies by a few days each month, you may still want to wait a few days before testing since you may not actually be late yet.

So, what are my symptoms at 10dpo you ask?  (Once again I don't really care if you asked, it's just one of those forum topics that seem to be on every baby-making website).  To be honest, I don't really have any.  Had some sharp pains in my abdomen last night and a few this morning, and I'm a bit on the bloated side, and my boobs are a bit larger than usual, but all these things can also be contributed to the progesterone, PMS, and possibly pregnancy.  So like a lot of things, I take them with a grain of salt.  Damn it!  Now I'm thinking about the tequila I can't have!!!  Which is horrible since it is Tequila Tuesday...ARGH!!!!  However, I will most likely enjoy a glass of wine when I get home, because for now I dub it okay and safe to consume in small quantities.  I'm sure some will disagree, but to each their own opinion on the matter.  Last IUI I was overly conscious about my eating and drinking habits, and the IUI failed.  My stress levels were at maximum capacity, and I know that did not help and could have possibly contributed to my system failing so miserably.  This go around I have decide to relax, enjoy the ride, and not sweat the small stuff.  There will by plenty of time to freak out during the 9-month wait!

Hopefully this will be me very soon!

Since I am so close to finding out whether or not this IUI is successful, I will try and update more over the next several days. Hopefully next time I'm back on here there will be good news!!! If not, I'll report the bad, too. Both are part of the process, so both deserve equal time in the spotlight. But for now I'll keep on the positive side and hope for the best outcome! And I'll leave you with this little bit of fun :-)

I love cats!

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Mother Nature FAIL

Now while the title of this post may sound negative, it's not quite all that bad.  I'll explain...

Cat pictures always make bad news good!

I have been keeping quiet over the past week or so while anxiously awaiting the results of my first IUI.  Something in my head went the route of "don't tell anyone cause it could jinx the results!"  Well that is just idiotic!  Nothing of the sort will jinx the outcome of an IUI.  There is only about a 10% chance that a natural IUI (one without meds) will be successful in the first place.  That's 10% less chance than doing it the old-fashioned way, if you know what I mean.  Both those percentages are based on success rates when no fertility issues are involved...having those can drastically change that number (and of course age is a mass factor, too). Needless to say, my first IUI was not a success story.  Here is how it all went down...

On May 28th I got my LH surge.  For those unfamiliar with the acronym, LH stands for Luteinizing hormone.  Basically it is a hormone release by the anterior pituitary gland.  In females, the release of this hormone triggers ovulation.  Usually ovulation will occur within 24-48 hours of the LH surge.  The LH surge is detected through ovulation predictor kits (OPKs).  They are sort of like a pregnancy test...you pee on a stick and it tells you whether you are surging or not; pretty simple and straightforward.  Once the LH surge is detected, you call the doctor and then go in the following day for the IUI.  The IUI is a very simple procedure that takes less than a couple of minutes.  Basically the doc takes the thawed, washed sperm and uses a catheter to directly inject it into the uterus.

See, very simple!

After the procedure you have to lay down for 15 minutes, and then you're off to live life as you normally would...with the exception of cavorting around bars and living it up like you were in Vegas!!

How NOT to handle the wait!

Remember, at this point you should already be thinking like a pregnant woman!  Once you're done at the doc's, the only thing to do is wait the 2 weeks it takes for fertilization, implantation, and a hopefully a positive pregnancy test.

Well, that's not exactly how it went for me.  My LH surge occurred on the 28th.  On the morning of the 29th I had my IUI.  I took the rest of the day off just for good measure.  I ate healthy, relaxed, didn't drink booze...I was a model patient!  But that doesn't always guarantee a successful outcome.  Unfortunately my hormones and Mother Nature decided to do their own thing.  Six days after the IUI on the 3rd, bam, my cycle went nuts!  To make TMI less TMI, I started my period 10 days premature.  Now this never happens so I was highly disappointed in my hormones for acting like uncontrollable morons!  But what can you do?  Mother Nature will do as she pleases and usually at completely inappropriate times!  And this was obviously the time she had chosen.  Oh well, now what?

I called my doc first thing Monday morning (June 4th) and let him know that Mother Nature failed me (please review title of post now).  Today (June 5th) he had me come in for another vaginal ultrasound to check out the goods and make sure there was nothing to be overly concerned with...basically making sure it was just a wonky month and all systems were still go.  Lucky for me, all systems are still go!  But the doc did decide to go ahead and put me on 50mg of Clomid for this next cycle.  Clomid is used to treat ovulation issues in some women, but for me it's basically being used to increase my progesterone and lengthen my cycle.  I have no issues with ovulation, so once again we're going to wait on the LH surge and proceed as normal.  With Clomid my chances for conceiving with IUI jump from 10% to 20%, so that is a bonus!

So on to more good news!!!  Since I was 10 days early this month, now I get to go back in for my next IUI within the next 11 days or so.  This is good news because I don't have to wait all those additional days this month.  When you're trying to conceive, any extra waiting is just torment (especially at my age)!  The only concern I really have right now is the increased chance for multiple births that comes along with Clomid.  There is a 5-12% chance of twins (depending on your source, with 8-10% being the norm), a 1% chance of triplets (highly unlikely for women over 35), and .1% for quads (yeah, that's not happening!).   Since I ovulate like a champ, I am concerned that any drug which excites my ovaries to produce more than one viable follicle at a time may be risky. But I'd rather have twins than no children at all, so we'll just have to wait and see.

Aren't they just so damn cute!

Be careful what you wish for!

I think that about catches everything up to date.  This evening I start my Clomid, take it for the next five days, wait until day 12 of my cycle to start testing with the OPKs, and hopefully by day 14 or 15 will get my surge and be in for the next IUI by day 15 or 16 (June 17 or 18).  This time I will not keep it a secret that I've gone in.  No more of the paranoia regarding jinxing the whole thing.  If it's meant to be it will happen when the time is right...everything is about timing!  Hopefully this time around I will come back with a positive result and a successful procedure story.  If not, well then it's off for one more round before other methods are discussed with my doc.  So here's to the rest of this month!

Want to learn more about IUI and Clomid?  Try this link: http://www.raising-twins.com/clomid.html

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