As I sit here eating my last piece of chocolate birthday cake, I am also contemplating how to get rid of this last 30 lbs of baby weight. I began my journey into motherhood at 135 lbs. No, I wasn't a skinny waif, but at 5'7" I was fit and healthy, my ass was where it should be, and my boobs were as perky as when I was in my 20s.
Every woman gains weight during her pregnancy, well at least 99.99% of us do. My weight gained started before I was actually pregnant, however. Due to the fertility meds I was on, I gained 20 lbs before I actually found out I was pregnant. This was due to excessive water weight gain mixed with a constant feeling of hunger, both of which are side effects of Clomid. So, by the time I found out I was actually preggers, I was already weighing in at 155 lbs. I have never been over 135. Normally, with a lot of going to the gym I'll hover between 125-130. 135 is where I typically tend to stay if I'm not on a strict diet and exercise regimen, it is just my typical, healthy weight, and this is the weight I want to be again someday.
Throughout my pregnancy I ate pretty healthy. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a saint about it. I did enjoy ice cream in bed late at night and I occasionally threw in some fast food for convenience. The first trimester I was uber strict with what I ate, and then after that I ate healthy but let myself enjoy other foods as well. Regardless of my eating habits, I managed to pack on an additional 50 lbs by the time I went into labor. Besides actual baby weight, the majority of the weight was due to excess water. I had a nasty case of edema that set in before I really even began show all that much. As a matter of fact, it actually worsened after Piper was born and hung around till at least a month or so post pregnancy.
After giving birth, I dropped 40 lbs relatively easy. Basically, that means I didn't do a damn thing but breastfeed and not eat like a total pig. However, I have been stuck at 165 lbs for a couple of months now. No matter what I eat, the weight doesn't go up or down, it just stays the same. It's been so steady I've considered that my scale might be broken, but alas that's just a lie I tell myself when it doesn't go down! at first I didn't worry myself over that last 30 lbs, after all I did just have a baby. Now, however, I'm honestly getting really sick of looking at the extra flab and am anxious for it to go away. My end goal is to be back to 135 lbs, so how do I go about getting there?
I've decided that the best way to motivate myself to lose the weight is to put it out there on my blog! If I tell all my readers of my intentions, then I am more likely to stick to them. If I had not bothered writing about my 52 random acts of kindness, I might have decided to let it all slide by the time I got to week two. Basically, I'm going to make you all my weight-loss sponsors. Just as alcoholics have someone they can call up when they are feeling weak and tempted to have a drink, I am going to post when I'm feeling unmotivated or wanting to binge on sweet treats. Now mind you, I am not about to go all P90X on you all. I am still breastfeeding so my diet and exercise routine cannot interfere with the needs of Piper. What I have to be is sensible, without torturing myself. I need to eat healthier, exercise a little more, and maybe cut out that extra glass of wine here and there. Notice I said "extra" glass of wine. I will NOT bet teetotaling it to save on calories! I enjoy my wine and do not drink to excess, but I do occasionally like to have an extra glass on the weekends after Piper has gone to bed. I figured I could do without that particular glass here and there, but not all the time, sometime you just need an extra glass of wine! If I do indulge, I will throw in some extra exercise to make up for it, however.
To help myself get started, I've decided to make a list of my limitations as far as diet and exercise are concerned, and also label these items as either true obstacles or just flat out excuses. It's sort of like making a pros and cons list of reasons to stay or not stay in a relationship. If I write it all out it will help me focus on what I can and should do, and what I need to avoid...while also making it impossible for me to use something as an excuse later on. Does that make sense?
Okay, here goes:
Limitations on diet:
1) I cannot reduce my intake of calories too low as I am still breastfeeding- this mean no fad diets of any sort regardless of how "healthy" they sound.
2) I must not use any dietary supplements such as those touted by Dr. Oz as miracle pills...they don't work anyway!
3) I cannot use special creams advertised as cellulite shrinkers or any other sort of hoodoo bullshit of the same nature. These absorb into the milk supply and could possibly have adverse side effects.
Limitations on exercise:
1) Due to loosened ligaments from the protein Relaxin that is released during pregnancy, there is greater risk of injury due to weakened joint stability. For example, the ligament in my left ankle that keeps rolling and snapping and has already brought me down once (yeah, no more heels for now either), that ligament could very well cause a nasty fall and that isn't something I care to risk. Relaxin continues to be produced until up to six weeks AFTER one quits breastfeeding. As Piper is still very much on the boob, I have to particularly cautious regarding any weight training and/or other exercises that put strain on my joints, especially those in the ankles and hips. Additionally, as per my doc regarding my knee issues, I'm never supposed to jog or run on uneven or concreted surfaces such as roads. Walking is fine. Jogging on a treadmill is also fine once my ligaments tighten back up and I have time once again to hit the gym.
2) I am not allowed to run or jog for the time being. As per my doc regarding my knee issues, I'm never supposed to jog or run on uneven or concreted surfaces such as roads. Walking is fine. Jogging on a treadmill is also fine once my ligaments tighten back up and I have time once again to hit the gym.
3) I'm not sure if I have any other current limitations. All other exercise issues are more excuses than anything else. And on that note...
Excuses that must be avoided:
1) It's too hot outside
2) It's been a long day and I'm tired
3) It's too cold outside
4) There isn't enough space in the house to do _______. (insert exercise)
5) I have no exercise clothes to wear
6) I have no exercise buddy
7) Wine tastes better than sweat
8) I'll make up tomorrow that which I slacked on today
I'm sure I'll come up with more later, so stay tuned!
Excuses that I may actually use as excuses:
1) Piper is particularly fussy and I have no one at the moment to take her off my hands. Remember, she is teething right now and she always comes first. I will not put my ass size before her needs. If I have to miss a workout to take care of her, so be it. She comes first, period! However, if I can incorporate her into a workout, then I will and must.
2) Mondays are non-workout days. Mondays suck, we're short handed at the office, and I refuse to make matters worse by exercising when I get home. However, if I skip a Sunday then I must suffer and exercise on Monday. So in my best interest, I best not skip out on Sundays.
3) I have family social events which prevent me from working out. These do come up here and there, but not that often. Usually it is the case of having my nieces over for a night. However, if I can get them to join in the fun, then I should.
4) No working out on major holidays. Also, no watching my calorie intake on major holidays. These include Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter (if a basket is involved), my birthday week (yes, I said week!), and Piper's birthday. There may be other holidays requiring joyous festivities and a celebratory eating fest, I will makes excuses for them if and when they arise.
Well then, I think that about covers the bases for right now. An additional note on my diet, however, is that I will not deprive myself of cravings. My goal is to watch what I eat but mainly stick with portion control rather than deprivation. I like pizza and ice cream and pasta and candy and all other yummy goodies. I am allowed all of these things in moderation. I am even allowed fast food when necessary as long as I choose healthier items such as salads or grilled chicken. I am going to try my best to cook more rather than eat fast or frozen foods, but hey, I ain't perfect nor do I want to be. I'm not going to lie about that. I will make healthier decisions, however, and report all unhealthy choices I make as a sort of walk of shame.
As for the exercise portion of this weight loss goal, I am going to start slow and work my way up. I have been out of a routine since I got pregnant, so I need to ease back into the more strenuous routines I used to put myself through. Plus, I have some nagging pains I want to keep from getting worse. Many of these can be cured with exercise and weight loss, the key is to not make them worse in the process of making them better. I'm pretty good at knowing when not to push it and when to give a bit extra, so it won't be any big deal to manage the pains while strengthening enough to eliminate the pains.
Alrighty, I think I have a pretty good plan in place and a pretty good outline of where I stand at this moment. My initial goal is to lose 10 lbs. I would say my goal is to lose 30 lbs, which it ultimately is, but I want to set something very reasonable and realistic to begin with. Once I lose 10, then I can focus and reorganize for the next 10. If I stick to my guns, I'm thinking I can have this 10 lbs off in 3 months. If I could vigorously diet and exercise right now I could have it off in less than 1, but that is not realistic based on everything I've just written. Plus, I want to keep it off and I know it must come off slowly if it is to remain off.
Tonight my goal is to get the old measuring tape out and see where I stand inch-wise to go along with the poundage. I will keep track of inches lost along with actual weight loss, for this is even more an indicator of gaining my body back. I don't really like scales all that much, but the mirror never lies! Inches will show more in the mirror than on the scale, especially since muscle weighs more than fat, and I plan on exchanging one for the other as well as toning it all up. Tomorrow will be my first official start date with light exercise and healthy eating as part of my daily goal. I guess that means I better get in that extra glass of wine tonight, then! ;)
One final note about this whole process:
I will not be posting before and after pics as I am not willing to subject myself to that sort of uncomfortable personal imagery. I will post other pics, but never will you see a pic of my tummy, thighs, or butt during this process! I will, however, post my measurements along the way. I don't mind sharing where I stand inch-wise. I can handle the written truth, but the visual I will keep for to myself. Also, all posts relating to this process will be under the Losing the Baby Weight heading. So if you miss one, you can always look there for updates!
Alrighty then, I'm off to finish up the work day! Looking forward to getting all this started tomorrow. Wish me luck!
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From the title of this post, you may have guessed that at this point in my pregnancy I am seriously feeling like a whale. As of today, I am 8 days from my due date if you go by my last missed period. If you go by the actual IUI, I am six days out. Either way, I'm about to bust an alien out my stomach...at least that's how I look and feel!
I have been patiently awaiting Piper's arrival, and seriously expected her to be here by now. She ran about a week ahead of schedule from the moment she was a little bean at her first ultrasound. So I assumed she would be running a week early by the time nine months rolled around. Well, I'm beginning to question whether or not she will be early or be like her mom, induced because she was eleven days late and snuggled up where it was nice and warm. Maybe I've made my womb to cozy of a place for Miss Piper? But it cannot be that cozy anymore, there cannot possibly be any room in there for her to move.
I am now going to my OB every Friday for check-ups. Friday before last, there was nothing much going on. This past Friday, I was dilated only 1 cm and although she could tell I'd been having contractions, there wasn't much else besides a softening cervix to write home about. Although I did think I had broken my water the night before my appointment, but after my check-up it seems that I just have a lot of extra fluids escaping the hoo-hah...which is a sign of contractions.
I am officially on full maternity leave as of last Thursday. I made this decision mainly based on the fact my sleep patterns are screwed to all hell and back. I cannot seem to get comfy and I've had a few nights where contractions kept me up, as well as thirty minute pee breaks, until the point that at 4am I am still tossing and turning. But every night that I experience contractions, by the next morning I am able to sleep and they have completely stopped. Ugh!!! That is so frustrating! Last night I had continual Braxton Hicks for hours but still no sign of true labor!
I have always heard that the last few weeks of a pregnancy are agonizing not only in the fact your uncomfy and ready to give birth, but the waiting game is excruciatingly painful in how slow and drawn out it can feel. Now I know what all those mothers had been talking about all these years. It's not easy going every day just waiting for the first real painful contractions...and wanting it. I never imagined I would feel so excited and anxious and completely okay with shoving what last week they were calling a pumpkin (that sounds much worse than a watermelon, huh?) out my va-jay-jay. But I have to admit, I'm looking forward to giving birth.
While I used to have ridiculous fears about labor and delivery, especially after seeing that film in junior high, I'm now more on the excited-to-be-experiencing-a-new-life-event kind of mode. I think I am mentally prepared for the pain and discomfort of it all. I say that now, I'm sure my tune will change when I'm in the middle of it all. But for the time being, I'm a bit giddy.
Of course, these past couple of weeks have also had a mental toll on me. I've had some dramatic mood swings, my apologies for those in their wake. I'm sure it has everything to do with anxiety and raging hormones. Hell, I'm a woman, when does my existence not revolve around raging hormones? It's pretty much a woman's lot in life to carry the hormonal weight of the world on her shoulders, isn't it? I know I'm not alone in thinking us women get the short of the hormonal stick when it comes to everyday existence. I know there are a ton of men out there who would agree, right? Hahahahahahaha!
Anyway, besides my mood swings, I'm to the point where actually getting around is becoming a chore. I went into work a couple of hours yesterday to finish up some things, yes I know I just said I was on maternity leave but sometimes you gotta do what ya gotta do, and sitting at my desk did nothing but send shooting pains through my tailbone. My office chair is usually not all that bad, but when you go from 135 lbs to 198 lbs, things change! Yes, I admit that I am almost 200 lbs now!!! I was at 202 but lost 4 lbs last week. I've been peeing a lot, so that is probably why. But let me explain the weight thing...some of you may have heard this before, but let's recap...
Before I decided to get pregnant, 135 was my typical weight unless I was on an extreme workout kick. My healthy weight is 135, and I carry it very well! Once the pregnancy process began and they put me on Clomid and progesterone, I shot up to 155 in a span of two months. These meds are known for causing weight gain, mainly through water retention, and I consider myself lucky since gaining 40lbs on them is nothing unusual. I'm lucky I got pregnant so quickly, that is. After I got pregnant my weight gain has been pretty typical. A little over 40lbs is not an unusual amount of pregnancy weight to gain. Mostly mine has been all water, as my legs are pretty swollen all the way down. The funny thing is is that no one can believe I am as heavy as I am. Most people are pretty shocked and ask where I'm hiding the weight. Then I kindly remind myself that they have obviously forgotten the actual size of my ass and thighs pre-pregnancy! It's nice of them to think I still look like I did before I got huge, besides the belly, but seriously folks! I'm about to post a pic of my pre-pregnant ass, just so we can be clear on what it looked like before!
Yep, that'd be my butt!
Say what you will of this tasteless shot, but that was me in my booty shorts at the club for some random event...no it wasn't Halloween, but a dj's going away party where we all dressed up old skool. Now I do not typically go club hopping in booty shorts anymore, but this was a special occasion, and since I could still pull them off, why not!?!? Anyway, it gives a general idea of how my ass once looked. Here is another pic to check out the gams...
See those small thighs?
As you can tell from this pic, I once had slender thighs that didn't even think about touching! Now my knees are as big as my thighs once were, and that ain't no lie! But hey, it's worth it. And after Piper is born, and I lose all the excess water, they'll be back down to normal size...well let's hope so. I honestly, without looking at these pics, don't remember how my legs used to look. All I know is that when I glance down in the shower I do not recognize the legs now attached to my body. Like I said though, totally worth it at this point. Speaking of knees, here is one last shot...
Mine are the ones on the left!
See, I did have actual knees once. Now it's more like my whole leg is just one big chunk of flesh with no real distinction between thigh, knee, calf, and ankle. Here is a pic from my shower, check out the mass thighs in this one by comparison!
I'm mean seriously not the same thighs!
No worries, I'll get my gams back one way or another!
Okay, enough about my lost shapely legs, that was a complete side track! The point is, I'm a 200lb whale of a woman right now, getting around is about equivalent to a 200lb whale trying to walk on land, and I'm ready to get Piper here so I can drop some of that 200lbs in order to begin to feel halfway normal sized again. I know it won't all instantly disappear right after delivery, but I'm ready for the process of shrinkage to begin! More than that, I'm ready to start the next chapter of my life, mommyhood. I'm more ready for that than anything else, and the waiting is killing me! Every day is torturous, but I guess I don't really have much of a choice. Piper will get here when she gets here, and no matter what I do I just have to wait until she's ready for that moment to arrive. She could seriously get a move on with it, though!
Not only do I want her here so I can cuddle with her, I also want her here before she gets too much larger. The prediction at my 4D ulttrasound was that she would be between 8.5-9lbs if she continued to grow as she was and went full term. I'm no Spring chicken, so birthing a 9 pounder doesn't exactly sound enticing! I tried to have a talk with her the other night about how much easier birth would be on both of us if she would go ahead and get here rather than continue to grow inside the womb...she basically ignored me. I hoped she would listen to reason, but nope. Oh well, seems she's going to be just like her mother!
Okay, I'll start wrapping things up by going over where I stand right now. As of last Monday I began having tremendous pelvis pressure and pain. Piper is fully head-down, engaged, and ready for take-off. She has been putting quite a lot of pressure on me down in the pelvic region, but I'm getting used to it. I often have extremely sharp pains shoot through my cervix. They stop me dead in my tracks and sometimes actually make me yelp. These are especially bad when compounded with the ever present need to pee. I typically pee about once every 30 minutes or so now, especially when trying to go to sleep at night. I have Braxton Hicks throughout the day, at night I sometimes have contractions more equivalent to false labor as they are very uncomfortable to say the least, but these typically occur when lying on my left side for some reason. The amount of vaginal fluid I now produce is pretty ridiculous. I mean seriously, where does it all come from? It's like having a continual runny nose. And the night I thought my water broke, I mean come on! It was enough to make me think my water broke! That's not normal nor something I should probably share with the world, but you know me! My belly is now 48" in girth, and still growing, yay. Getting out of bed now causes me to groan and flail a bit. When I sneeze I pee a little, and god forbid I have a coughing fit or get choked. Lastly, and this one is just for giggles, I fart every time I sit down on the toilet, that's a fun one that cannot be controlled. It's all fine and dandy until you're in a public restroom!
Well that about sums up where I am at this point. Sorry for the lack of pics in this post, I will try to get some belly shots inserted over the next couple of days, but right now I am still in my pjs and not about to jump up and do a photo shoot. Tomorrow I'll get up, shower, and get dressed. Then I will snap a few pics, I've got to take some more shots of last minute additions to the nursery anyway, and I'll throw them in after that. For now, you'll just have to use your imaginations! Oh wait, I do have a few from Easter this past Sunday. My family thought it would be funny if I played the role of Easter egg, and I completely nailed it!
Can you find the egg?
Yep, all belly!
Now you see me?
And here comes the broken record...
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Since I am waiting to move on to the next step in decorating the nursery, I think this is a good time for me to finally post about the joyous and not so joyous parts of my pregnancy. Everyone I have talked to seems to have a different take on these joys and non-joys, as every pregnancy is different, but that's beside the point. Here it is all about me, bwahahahaha! (sinister, rule the world laugh!). Anyway, I figured I should document what my experience in the baby making department has been like from the more physical, rather than the mental side of things. I will probably forget some of this stuff if I wait too long, so now is the moment and I must seize it! Just a fair warning, I don't like to hold any punches, so this may get a bit graphic for some. But hey, that's just the kind of gal I am. And is honesty the most important policy? I do believe I read that somewhere once upon a time....
But first, here's your music video for this round!
Okay, now where to begin? I'm seriously debating how to organize this segment...all the bad things at once, followed by all the good? Mix it up by alternating between the two? Chronological order by onset of experience? I guess for the first time ever I'll just completely wing it and see where the flow takes me. If it gets too chaotic I can always reorganize myself later, right? Oh, and this will most likely be an entry that is added to as I get further along, so I guess winging it is probably best since the style will change from time to time as I delve deeper into my pregnancy.
I'll start with something happy, not that anything has made me unhappy, but good things are always nice to hear....
Now I have heard many a tale of being pregnant, but no one ever mentioned to me the waking up effect on the growing belly. This is also one of the most amazing things I've experienced along the way, until actual movement occurred, so it's probably a good thing to put first. Now I cannot speak for other preggos out there, but for myself, every time I wake up and get out of bed in the morning, I can literally watch my belly change shape. It is so wondrously cool! When I first get up, my belly is higher up with a little bit of a flattened region between it and my pubic area (oh the pubic area, we'll get to that one later!). I imagine it is because little Piper has had the weight of the world taken off her shoulders whilst I sleep, so she sits higher and more towards the back of my uterus. I'm no expert mind you, this is just what makes sense in my head, so don't take my word that this is what is really going on in there. But anyway, once I stand up to go start my morning ritual, I can literally watch my belly drop from the higher position to a much lower one that extends more in the front. When I first noticed the phenomenon it was taking about the time it took for me to shower. Now that I'm really beginning to show, I can simply stand there and watch it happen within a few seconds. I imagine this is not something that is purely unique to my pregnancy, it's just something no other mother has yet to mention to me. And why not? It rocks! Then again, I think everything about pregnancy rocks, even the not so pleasant parts.
And on that note, let's move on to a not so pleasant part....
Hmmm, where to start? I think I should ease everyone into the not so pleasant parts so I'll begin with a not-so-not-so unpleasant part. That make any sense? If I was going in chronological order here, and was like a shit-ton of women out there, puking my guts up would be first on my list. However, I was very lucky in the morning sickness department as I had not even the slightest bit of nausea, EVER! Which is weird. Every time I got sick as a child, and it has continued into my adulthood, every damn time I get the sniffles I hurl! I've gotten so used to it that it doesn't even bother me to puke anymore. So naturally I just assumed I would be a toilet hugger throughout my pregnancy. Well thank goodness for small favors as that did not occur! You're wondering where the unpleasant part is now, right? Sorry, got a bit off track and what I am about to tell you has absolutley nothing to do with puking. My first unpleasant experience was, oh wait for the absolute horror....
Horse Hair!!!!
And I couldn't have coffee to make it better like this chick!
Don't laugh, this stage was an absolute I-almost-shaved-my-head-bald phase! My hair was so soft and luxurious and the prenatals were making it even more beautiful than ever, and then one day I woke up with dry, knotted, impossible to brush for all the damned tangles, snarled-up,disgustingly icky hair! And that's putting it nicely. It literally changed overnight! It was so bad that every time I ran a brush through it to work out the tangles, it would instantly knot back up. In order to help alleviate the situation I went to my hair dresser to get what I thought must simply be nasty split ends removed. Guess what? After the cut and during the styling she complained that my hair was impossible to work with because of the retangling effect...and she's a professional! I tried leave in conditioner. I tried not washing it. I tried not washing it and using expensive conditioners followed by leave in conditioners. Nothing worked! I eventually broke down and decided to have it all chopped off. Mind you I love my long hair and it was down past my shoulder blades, but I just couldn't take it anymore. Luckily before I made that second appointment to have the hell hair removed from this world, I put out a desperate post on Facebook. Well, it was more of a whiny, complaining, pity-party post than anything else, but you get my drift.
I'm sure this is what most people thought!
Lucky for me my female motherhood compadres responded to my desperate plea and told me DON'T DO IT! They begged me to refrain from going into all out angry Brittney Spears with an umbrella mode and just wait a few weeks.
I totally get it now!
They promised me it would get better. So against my better judgement I waited, and boy am I glad I did. After about three weeks of hell hair, I woke up one morning and just as soon as it had appeared, it disappeared. It was once again full and shiny and luxurious and awesome! It was the best hair ever! Now it was probably no better than before the horse-hair weeks, but it felt better than it ever had because of the hell it had put me through. My hair and I are now on a friendly basis once again. I like to think it lost its attitude because I threatened it with extinction, but I'm sure it was all just a hormonal thing.
One good thing and one bad thing down. On to another good thing!
Next up in the rockin' pregnancy department....PORN BOOBS! Yep, I said it, PORN BOOBS! There is nothing more awesome than waking up one morning and realizing you have finally grown those breasts you've been waiting on since you were twelve years old. It might have taken almost three decades, but they have finally arrived! I began my pregnancy as a small 34B, nothing spectacular in size but perky as could be. (hahaha, I rhymed!) Over the last decade I had finally gotten used to the fact they weren't getting any larger. Sometimes they would get smaller, like when I was on an extreme workout kick, but never any larger. And I was fine with that, at least that's what I told myself because there was no changing them. Well, not without surgery and I haven't ever been big on wanting implants (read between the lines that statement screams that I never had the money so therefore I didn't want). So 34B...that was what I was given, and that was what I lived with...until now.
It is no secret that your breasts grow when pregnant. We all know why, all that hormonal stuff and needing to supply milk for the baby, yada, yada, yada. However, there is no set amount one will expand in the chest region based on their every day normal bra size. I've read some horror stories of women who expanded to a K cup size once they got pregnant. I didn't even know they made size K bras! I'm sure these women started with much larger busts than myself, but dear Jesus what a nightmare!
These are 42K, and my artwork is awesome!
I've also heard stories of women who didn't increase in size at all. Neither one of those scenarios was where I wanted to head once pregnant, and luckily neither one of those scenarios reflects what I got. Luckily for me I gained only a cup size within the first month of my pregnancy. It was nice to gain some right off the bat while I was still somewhat smaller everywhere else (I'll get to what that "somewhat" means here in a minute). At first I was afraid that since I gained a cup size so quickly, that I would continue to grow and then have out of control massive boobs like those K cups! But after the first little bit, the growing tapered off and they remained steady for awhile. There I stayed at a nice 36C (yes I gained a bit around the rib cage, too) up until just recently.
As I began to grow everywhere else, my boobs for a time stayed where they were. Then all of a sudden, within the last couple of weeks, I started getting sore boobs again. Low and behold they were once more on the expansion route. To make a short story short, I have just recently gone up to a D cup! Now I'm not a huge D cup, but enough that the C bra is shamefully too small, and the girls are still perky which is a blessing. I'm hoping that mother nature will be kind and let me not only keep some of what I've gained after everything is said and done, but I'm also hoping she'll be kind enough to let me keep them upright! On the opposite spectrum of sprouting pregnancy porn boobs, I have read horror stories of deflating, droopy post pregnancy boobs. I think I'll be fine, but have my fingers crossed regardless.
Yep, don't want to go there!
I'll entitle this next section "Why are my thighs touching?!?!?!"
As you can probably guess, this segment will not be a part of the pregnancy pleasantries. This segment is all about weight gain!!!!
This section will not be FUN!!! AHHHHHH!!!
I'll begin with a little pre-pregnancy story. Before I actually got the + sign on the old pregnancy stick, I spent three months trying to get that + sign. During that three months the doctor's put me on Clomid and Progesterone cream. The Clomid was to produce more than one viable egg a month and the Progesterone was to pump up the lining of my uterus so the implanted egg would stick better (that is the non-technical version). Unfortunately, these two drugs have a slightly adverse side effect...weight gain! My usual pre-pregnancy weight normally stays right around 135lbs max, and I was at this weight when my baby making adventure began. To once again make a short story short, by the time I got that positive reading I had packed on 20lbs of side effect weight! You heard that right, 20lbs!!! I really can't believe I just threw that out there because only those who see me regularly have been privy to that knowledge, but what the hey! So by the time I actually registered as pregnant I was close to a whopping 155lbs! Now this may not seem like much to some people, I'm sure there are some women reading this right now who are rolling their eyes, but to me it was 20lbs heavier than I had ever been in my life. I couldn't fit into any of my jeans and was forced to go on a dress buying spree to hide the extra weight until I could safely say I was showing. I managed to cope pretty well with the extra weight knowing that in the end it would all be worth it...until I went to the beach.
Right around the end of my first trimester, my parents and I took a little beach vacation. I was past the just bloated stage and into the beginning to show stage, so that was great. I was able to buy one of those modest 2-piece pregnancy suits with a tankini top and a little skirted bottom. I really only had one suit to choose from cause it was at the end of the season and there was only one left in the store that was remotely close to my size. Most of them were extra large suits, so I was lucky they had the one medium left in stock. Anyway, I wore the suit with pride and it offered enough coverage for that awkward stage of being in between really looking pregnant and looking like you drank too much beer the night before. And with the extra weight I had gained pre-pregnancy, I was definitely glad of the extra thigh coverage. I've always had nice legs and a damn good butt, but that extra weight made me a little uncomfy when it came to running around in a near thong like so many summers before. Okay Ashley, stay on track...
So one day during this vacation we decided to take a day trip to a different beach than the one in front of our condo. It was great because we had this completely gorgeous beach all to ourselves this particular day, which turned out to be a good thing considering my discovery that day. As we were loading up to go back to our condo, and taking the considerable trek from ocean to vehicle, I noticed a burning sensation between my thighs. At this point I realized my thighs, for the first time in my life, were rubbing together as I walked! The burning sensation? That was from the sand that was stuck to them and it was causing them to chafe with each agonizing step. WTF?!?!?!? I was completely mortified by this realization. I had once been a professional ballet dancer and my thighs were a source of pride in my life...well no longer. Upon this horrid discovery I was greatly appreciative that this particular stretch of pristine beach was empty this day. Once the discovery was made, and I realized the chafing was not going to stop, I decided to say fuck it and just waddled back to the car with my legs spread apart. Yes, both my parents laughed hysterically at my new slightly retarded looking gait, all bowlegged and hunched over with my ass sticking way back behind me, but at least my thighs were no longer touching!
Yep, I looked this ridiculous!
After I got to the car I noticed my inner thighs were red and splotchy from the sanding they had just received. I'm glad I was able to walk that ridiculous walk or they might have bled! Anyways, needless to say I will not be wearing any corduroy this winter lest I should start a fire!
Once again, my artwork rocks!
Whew, glad that confession is out of the bag! Now I can go on with my life free of that shameful burden. Since we're on the topic of thighs, I might as well just take you on a little trip north and go right into a little discussion about the pregnancy hoo-hoo. Bet you thought you were going to get another pleasant topic, but oh no, let's just keep going down the path of shame and get all the fun (AHHHHHH!) stuff out of the way. This voyage into the pregnant vagina will have two lovely parts distinctly different from one another. The first part will cover a pregnancy delight that has been going on since day one, the second will be short and sweet and cover a more recently occurring event.
First off, let's talk about what I like to call the pregnancy vagina. I know that sounds like it could go in oh so many directions, but the only direction this story is going is down. That's because what I have dubbed the "pregnancy vagina" is the ever annoying and constantly uber wet hoo-hoo that is a direct result of toting around a fetus.
Just couldn't help myself!
Who knows why pregnancy brings on a rain forest like environment to your nether regions, I'm sure once again it's all about hormones, but the fact is that it does! And if you were extra lucky like me and had to shove a tube of Progesterone cream up your va-jay-jay every single morning for the first twelve weeks (not including the two months of pre-pregnancy injections), then you have had not only the normal pregnancy vagina, but the additional fun (AHHHHHH!) of dealing with a gooey cream slowly expectorating itself all damn day, every day, for what probably seemed like the longest twelve weeks of your life! I guess I should have warned the squeamish to skip down to the next paragraph, oops! Sorry about that one. So there you have it, a woman's va-jay-jay is in a constant state of panty soiling during the baby baking process. To me it doesn't seem to serve any purpose, but then again what do I know? I do know that throughout the first trimester that icky wet feeling had me constantly terrified that I had started bleeding every time I went to the bathroom. So maybe that is why it happens, to keep the woman on her toes and constantly in fear that she is possibly losing the baby she worked so hard to create...sounds more like a cruel joke doesn't it?
Okay, now on to part dos of the vagina monologues...
As of the beginning of this week, and I discovered this in the shower Monday before work, I can no longer actually see my hoo-hoo. Believe me, I tried to see it Monday morning. You'd be surprised at the positions a lady can contort her body into in order to get a good view of the goods whilst holding a sharp object, aka shaving razor! I ridiculously even tried holding up my belly with one hand whilst leaning way far forward to peer over the top. Of course this didn't work and if it actually had I still couldn't have operated the razor with one hand while shaving anyway. In my opinion there are way too many folds and crevices to maneuver around down there, so it definitely is a task that requires two hands! No matter how you look at it, or in this case don't, my belly has overtaken my ability to properly groom.
Needless to say, it's a very good thing I've been grooming down there for years because now I can practically do it in the dark with my eyes closed. Well I guess there would be no real point in closing my eyes if it was already dark, but you get my point. So from here on out, I will be forced into grooming blindly. I will admit I am horribly afraid that the next time I have to go in for an exam in which they actually have to check my girly parts, I'm sure that will be around the time of labor, that I will have grossly miscalculated my blind grooming skills and that I will end up having Chewbacca-like patches of growth that I have missed.
The horror!!!
I've spent my entire going-to-the-gynecologist career trying to impress the doctors with my grooming skills, and now I am facing the day when all that work will be thrown out the window and they will forever remember me as that chick with the patchwork quilt between her thighs! I know I shouldn't care, and I probably won't even be able to get to it by that point in order to turn it into some Picassoesque style shave job, but I just can't help it! I have at least some dignity I would like to maintain!
This was just too funny not to share, cause this is what I'll look like!
Alrighty then, I think I have spent enough time discussing my vagina, so on to more good stuff!
It is really quite difficult to pinpoint all the good things, besides the boobs and cool morning belly drop since those are so specific, because honestly everything is just so damn fantastic! I finally have begun to feel Piper moving which is super duper wicked awesome! I was actually feeling her here and there for a couple of weeks and didn't really even know it. My mother told me the first baby movements felt like a flutter, sort of like a butterfly tickling you with it's wings but from the inside. I was so set in my head that that was the feeling I was supposed to feel, that I failed to even think I could experience those first movements in an entirely different way. When I finally got to 20 weeks last week, I went on an internet hunt for other women's descriptions of those first movements. What I found got me really excited because I realized that the odd feelings I was experiencing were actually Piper doing her thing.
To me there were no real flutter sensations. What I felt was more of a heavy, rolling, sometimes dropping sensation. Ugh, it is so difficult to describe what I mean! One of the ways I have been describing it...it's a feeling like a manatee lumbering through water. Why this explanation? I have no idea! To me it makes sense in my head and then when I say it out loud it just sounds crazy, much like when trying to describe a dream. I do sometimes feel her kick, I did a few times last night while lying in bed with my hand on my stomach, but mostly it is that swimming, rolling manatee feeling. I can't wait to see how those little sensations of movement change as I get further along.
Swan Lake music, how appropriate!
Notice in the video about 2 minutes in where the manatee is rolling around? Yep, that's how it feels when Piper does it! Does that make any sense at all to anyone else? Surely I'm not the only pregnant woman to talk about birthing a manatee! Okay, I'll move on!
I'll finish up this post by saying that it is absolutely amazing to know I have a little person camped out inside of me. I kind of feel sorry for men that none of them will ever know what it is like to carry another being around in their tummy (yes I know the baby isn't really in my tummy!) and feel them grow and move and all that fun stuff. How very lucky I am to have been born with this capability!
Like a boss!
And how very lucky I am to have the ability to create and grow this life even as a single woman. It must be excruciatingly difficult to be a single man who wants a baby. While I have the ability to go out, procure some sperm, and voila; they could never go that same route alone. Yes men have the ability to be great single parents, no doubt about that, but they do not have the equipment to have a child without a woman's involvement...and that's really gotta suck for them! I'm so very, very thankful that I do not have to have a mans direct involvement to experience this creation of life. No I couldn't do it without the sperm, but thankfully there are men out there who are willing to help women like myself. I still wish I could give my sperm donor a great big hug and kiss for making me the happiest woman on the planet, but alas that is impossible. It's funny that the one guy who finally gave me everything I ever wanted, put a forever smile on my face, and brought me to the point of loving someone so much that I feel like I could just explode from it all will be the one guy I will assuredly never meet. Weird how life works out sometimes. But besides all that...
That just says it all!
As always, I hope you enjoyed this post. And if you did, I would be overjoyed if you would click on the banner below and be kind enough to vote for me on Top Baby Blogs. There are no forms to fill out or information to give, just a click on the banner and then another click on the owl. It's literally that simple!
Also, please feel free to follow me on Facebook. It's a great way to keep up with Piper and I on a daily basis. Just simply click the highlighted link above and it will take you right to where you know you want to go!
After my niece Larkin was born, I used to help babysit her while her parents were at work. My favorite song to sing her was "You Are My Sunshine." I imagine it will be the song I most often sing to my little bundle. With that said, it seemed appropriate to set my 9 week photo shoot (thanks mom!) to that special tune...and it fits with my continuing need to drop a music video into the beginning of every entry.
So, I have a lot to catch everyone up on. Since the last post about the baby daddy, I have had two ultrasounds and my first prenatal visit. I know, I know! I should have posted sooner, but honestly I just got a bit lazy...well, I actually was spending all my free time reading instead of writing. It's really hard to put down a good Stephen King book, you know?
I'll start by going back in time to Thursday, August 30th. This is the day I had my 8 week ultrasound. And what a delight that was. My little bean had turned into what finally looked like a little human! Amazing how much the little one changed in just two weeks.
Isn't he/she the cutest thing ever?!?!
As you can see, the ultrasound pic turned out fantastic! The nurse was very pleasantly surprised that the wee-one decided to put on such a good show. All of my immediate family members are hams and love the camera. The baby's daddy is working on his acting career. Those two things combined...well let's just say I think this one has a personality on him, too.
On a side note, you may notice me calling the little one he a bit. While it is still too early to know the sex of the baby, I have this feeling that the little one is a boy. I've always wanted a little boy, but would be absolutely delighted with either sex, but I really do think I'm carrying in my womb what will hopefully one day be an upstanding young gentleman. Six more weeks and I should know for sure.
So back to the 8-week ultrasound. It went great. The little one was measuring at 1.7 cm and had a heart rate of 167bpm. Doc said he looked terrific and was growing at the expected rate. Needless to say, I was all smiles and so was my mom. And the pic we got (seen above) couldn't have been better.
That visit was my official last visit to Arkansas Fertility & Gynecology Associates. That is until I decide to have another kid...which I'm considering doing before I turn 40. The next part of my journey was officially here, time for my first prenatal visit. After much deliberation, I decided to go with Ashley Deed as my OBGYN. She delivered my niece Haven, and I had talked to several women who absolutely adored her. I'm very glad I went with her because she totally rocks!
My frst prenatal appointment was Monday, September 10th. I was anxious and excited as I really didn't know what to expect...I've never been pregnant before so who could blame me? Anyway, my mom was supposed to join me that morning as usual but she had an early morning dizzy spell and missed her ride (me) cause I could not run late for my first appointment...impressions and all. However, Dr. Deed was so wonderfully nice that she waited to do my first abdominal ultrasound until my mom could get there. This was totally unexpected. I simply stated on the way to the ultrasound room that my mom was going to be so disappointed that she was missing it. Well that was all it took. Dr. Deed said she didn't mind waiting at all. She just took me back to my exam room and let me browse magazines until mom got there. What doctor does that? Not one I have ever met.
She really deserves one of these!
I'm getting ahead of myself again, so I'll back up a but. When I first got called back for my appointment I went through the usual rigmarole. I was weighed (we won't even go there on the weight I have already gained due to the progesterone and now baby weight and boob increase), had my blood pressure checked, and we went briefly over my due date to make sure we were all on the same page. After that, I was taken to my exam room...this is where I met Dr. Deed for the first time and admittedly knew nothing of what was to come. I had no idea that I would be getting another ultrasound that day...and my first abdominal one to boot. That is why I was so grateful that Dr. Deed was willing to wait until my mom arrived. She was already on her way cause she wanted to be there for as much of the appointment as possible, so the wait wasn't terribly long. Regardless, I was over joyed and thankful.
As I waited for mom, Dr. Deed and I discussed some basics. First off she asked if I was having any problems, which of course I haven't had any of those. Next we discussed sending me in for specialized blood work and another ultrasound, since I'm over 35, to check for Down Syndrome and other such genetic/chromosomal disorders....the stuff they typically test for with an amniocentesis. Luckily amniocentesis is no longer the first step in testing for these disorders. As the process is so invasive and carries a risk of miscarrying the fetus, I would not have opted for such a test.
I don't think so!
But blood work and an ultrasound, that I can handle. If they find anything that raises a red flag in these procedures, then they move on to other methods of testing. I imagine I'll have no scares here, but I will still probably be anxious until I hear the results. I'm scheduled to go in for those tests on September 26th, so everyone keep your fingers crossed that it all comes out fine.
During my ultrasound at this appointment they will also be checking my cervix for any unusual scarring that could affect me carrying to term. They are checking it because I had a LEEP procedure done to remove abnormal cells that were pre-cancerous back in the early 2000s. This procedure can cause several different types of changes to the cervix, so it is necessary to have an expert examine mine to make sure nothing unusual is going on down there. Good news is that after my pap-smear that Dr. Deed performed, she stated I had a perfect cervix and she would never have guessed I had had a LEEP performed if I hadn't told her. But I still need an expert to check just to make sure.
After Dr. Deed's and my discussion, my mom finally arrived and we went back to the ultrasound room. And once again, it was magical. Unfortunately for us my little one was not performing as much as the previous ultrasound.
He's getting bigger!
As you can see from the pic, he's not splayed out to the camera giving it his best ham sandwich! I honestly believe he was sleeping soundly and was all cozied and didn't want to be woken up. I'm not much of a morning person either, so I really can't blame him. Dr. Deed kept harassing him to move around, and he did a bit, but for the most part he just chillaxed, which is cool by me.
So how much bigger was he you ask? Well he/she had grown to 3.2cm and the heart rate was at 160bpm. Dr. Deed said he/she was perfect in all aspects of the word. Growing like a weed, had all the appropriate limbs, and she expects he/she will be a big, healthy baby when born. She also said birth-weight usually corresponds to how big you were at birth. I was 7lbs 6oz, so if she's right that would be a great size. I am predicting an 8-9lb baby, though. Besides being just a perfect specimen of a fetus, she also said it was quite unusual to be able to see the umbilical cord so vividly at such an early stage. As you can see from the pic, the cord is quite noticeable. She said this means it is a nice strong, thick cord and that is a terrific thing to have. I hate to brag about it, but it made me feel so damned proud to being doing such a remarkable job creating this little one. Everything she said was like getting a giant gold star sticker for my hard work!
I so rock at creating life!
After my ultrasound, we headed back to the exam room for the pap-smear. It was just the typical exam...pressed on my boobs, shoved some fingers up my hoo-hoo and pressed on my goods, took some swab samples to go to the lab...same ole, same ole. Everything looked just as it should, so nothing really much to talk about there. Oh, I forgot to mention that I did have to give a urine sample after the ultrasound...I just love peeing in a cup!
Okay, this one I just threw in for my dad!
Following the pap-smear I made my appointment for my special tests on September 26th and then gave a blood sample. It was a terribly long wait for the blood-letting, but it was smooth and painless which is always a plus. Upon leaving I was given a packet of goodies all wrapped together with a camo ribbon...I took this as a sign, of course, that I am indeed carrying a boy. I'm sure it was random, but I am a believer of signs and so I'll just leave it at that. The bundle of goodies included a very informative book about pregnancy and infancy, a guide to breastfeeding, information on mommy courses offered including water aerobics and infant CPR, two magazines (one called Loving Your Grandbaby and the other As Your Baby Grows), a tote bag, and my preadmission form to fill out so I can go ahead and get myself registered at the hospital and prepared for the big day.
As you can see, a lot has happened over the past several weeks. And a lot is on the schedule for the weeks to come. To refresh on upcoming events...I have my specialized blood work and ultrasound scheduled for September 26th and my next prenatal visit on the books for October 8th. After that I'm off on vacation at the beach for a couple of weeks. Upon my return it should be time to finally prove my intuition is correct and find out the sex of this little bundle.
It seems just yesterday I was peeing on an HPT and wow, now I'm on my 10th week. It all moves so fast! I am glad to finally be moving into the growing and showing phase. My bump, as you can tell from the photo shoot video, is definitely not hiding. Every day it seems to be growing just a little bit more. Maybe so slight no one else notices, but it is easy for me to spot. This is when all the fun really begins! I even got to park in one of those special spots at the grocery store for new and/or expecting mothers and that was way cool!
AWESOME!
Well that about covers everything for now. If you would do me a few favors if you get the notion, i would be much obliged.
First, I am entered into the Baby Gaga 9 week pregnancy calendar girl competition. So if you don't mind, please vote for me by clicking this link Is Ashley Calendar Girl Material? (yes my real name is Ashley). I am currently in the #2 spot, so any help to break into #1 would be much appreciated!
Second, please vote for my blog at Top Baby Blogs. Thanks to my readers I have moved from in the 500s to #168. You can get there by clicking here.
Finally, if you would please follow my page on Facebook that would also rock! Just simply click here Single Modern Mom on Facebook.
I haven't mentioned this in awhile, but if there are any questions or topics any of you would like answered/covered, I would be more than happy to address these. Either email me at ashley@singlemodernmom.com or you can always message me on Facebook or comment below.
Until next time, everyone take care and make sure to smile at a random stranger. Smiles are contagious and I think there needs to be more of them in the world!
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