Most Amazing Day Ever

Hello readers.  Hope everyone has been waiting in anticipation for this entry, for this entry is all about the most amazing day yet of my entire life.  I am sure this statement will be repeated often over the coming  months, but so far it stands factual and as of yet un-toppled from the #1 rank it holds.  Also, to get back on the you get a video/song for the price of a blog...here is one from Massive Attack.  I chose this particular video for the mere fact, besides I dig the band, that a fetus in the womb sings the song.  I think, as you will soon see, it fits well with where I am heading today...

"Teardop" by Massive Attack

Now that the musical portion of this blog has been taken care of, onto the good stuff!

This past Thursday, which was August 16th, I went in for my first ultrasound.  I was 6 weeks and 1 day into my pregnancy, and so very lucky to get such an early glimpse at the life taking shape in my womb.  I can honestly say that nothing truly prepared me for that first moment of seeing the life I helped create.  I would love to be able to high-five the father at this point and give him a great big hug, but since he is merely a unanimous donor, I will have to settle for a simple thank you vibe sent out across the universe in hopes that he somehow feels it.  Honestly, there really is not enough thanks that can be given.

But before I once again get ahead of myself, I should begin with the agonizing wait that occurred in the doc's waiting room, aka holding cell, and the additional even more agonizing wait in the actual exam room, aka where the magic happens.

My appointment was for 9:30am, and while I knew I wouldn't get immediately back to see the doc, this particular morning the wait for my appointment felt like a conspiracy.

A conspiracy I tell you!

It just happened to be one of those mornings when the entire office was running behind and the waiting room was full of people.  It was very cool to be sitting there waiting knowing I was in for my first view of my wee-one.   For a change I wasn't like everyone else waiting...I had finally crossed to the other side from trying to conceive to official mommy in waiting.  It was kind of hard not to just bust out telling everyone in the room about my new pregnancy, but I refrained.

I felt like doing the Snoopy dance!

You never know when you might make some woman or couple who has been trying for ages cry from frustration at their own situation.  Even though I would like to think spewing happiness about my accomplishment would provide hope and give props to the awesome doctors, I have no real idea of what all those other people in the waiting room are going through.  I know we are all in for the same reason, but I also know our stories are vastly different.  I saw a lady come out of an exam room crying on one of my past visits, and I would never want to seem like an inconsiderate braggart to others who may be in for bad news rather than good.

So I'm sitting in the holding cell with my mom patiently waiting for my name to be called.  Every time the door back to the exam rooms opens and a nurse steps out with a chart in her hands and opens her mouth to call a name, I catch my breath.  And this happens over and over and over (I could keep going here but I'll refrain).  While waiting my mom did amuse me by knocking over a trash can lid while trying to throw her cup of water away.  It made a loud crash, I busted out guffawing as I am want to do, and everyone had to take a glance at our silliness.  Once again we managed to be the loudest people in a relatively quiet room.

I'm sure somewhere Godzilla actually did this!

But that's not really an important part of the story, I'm just drawing out getting to the point to make you feel somewhat like I felt that morning.  Additional happenings while waiting...I flipped through a Fit Pregnancy magazine, checked in via Facebook (btw, please go like my FB page www.facebook.com/singlemodernmom as I'm trying to build up my audience there as a fun extension of the blog, and I would truly appreciate many more fans...shameless plug, I know!), I finally talked my mom into going to the bathroom since her small bladder was being taxed by the wait, stared out the window for a bit, twiddled my thumbs, etc, etc, etc.

Finally at around 10:30am my name was finally called. YAY!!!  I was so damned excited and anxious I about couldn't stand it any longer, so good thing they finally called me.  Once again it was the usual, undress from the waist down and hop up on the exam table...and wait!  I had made it to the exam room, but my agonizing wait was still not over.  At first my mom and I chit-chatted thinking the doc would be in at any moment.  The nurse came in about 15 minutes later and I was so thrilled, but she was just there getting supplies, UGH!  And so we waited some more.  I flipped through an Entertainment Weekly and skimmed over why Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes split, admiring the pics of their daughter Suri whilst thinking about what my future child was going to look like.  I glanced at the Fit Pregnancy magazines available but realized I had read them all already.  I twiddled my thumbs some more.  Laid down, sat back up, repeated this over and over.  Am I getting across how excruciating the wait was yet?

Yes, this is similar to how I felt!
(except for the being a dude part)

By the time 11am rolled around I was about ready to grab the magic va-jay-jay wand and do the ultrasound myself.  I should probably explain that an ultrasound performed this early on is done vaginally and not through the belly.  I swear I could have!  But instead I kept telling myself that patience is a virtue...whatever!  About 11:15 the doc finally came in.  It was Dr. Batres this time, the only one of the three docs on staff I had yet to meet.  You see, my main doc is Dr. Miller, yet I had also seen Dr. Moutos on several occasions.  The thing I really love about Arkansas Fertility & Gynecology Associates (http://www.arkansasfertility.com figured I should give their offices another plug since they are so amazing) is that all the docs on staff are invested in your success.  They share the work and they all get credit for being a part of my conception team.   It's nice to know they all are rooting for you and got your back!

So in walks Dr. Batres, into the stirrups my feet go, and into the hoo-hoo the magic wand goes.  Finally after the wait of a lifetime, we are underway!  Well, almost.  First the doc scares the bejesus out of me, because at first all I see on the ultrasound monitor screen is what looks to be a big empty hole.  WTF?  Where is my baby?  I guess he sees the look on my face so then explains that he is first examining my ovaries before he moves to my uterus.  It seems that when you take fertility meds such as Clomid, the Clomid causes ovarian cysts to form from the ruptured follicles that released the egg(s).

Yeah, my thoughts exactly!

Remember that I had the one massive follicle in my left ovary? Well it left a nice-sized cyst.  I also had a smaller cyst in my right ovary.  Don't worry, this is completely normal and both should be gone by the time I'm 12 weeks along.  The doc did measure them to later make sure they are shrinking as expected.  After explaining what he was doing and what I was seeing, I felt a lot better.  And after he was done with those, he moved the magic hoo-hoo wand to my uterus.  And low and behold  there was my little bean!  Literally, the wee-one looked like a bean!  Even though he/she was just .529 cm in length, I was overwhelmingly amazed at what I saw.  There was my baby!  The cutest damn bean-shaped blob I had ever seen!

My baby's first pic!!!
See, it does look like a bean.

And it gets better.  After he pointed out where the head and feet were (by feet I really mean the tail-end as there are no "feet" yet), and took measurements that showed the little one was measuring at 6 weeks and 2 days, which is odd since I should have been 6 weeks and 1 day as per my last missed period, he then let me hear the heartbeat.

My baby's second pic!
See the heartbeat measurement lower left.

As you are probably aware, my mom is witnessing all this along with me.  Back in the day when she was pregnant with my brothers and myself, they didn't have this type of advanced equipment.  Not only could you not see the baby at such an early stage, but neither could you hear the heartbeat.  When I asked her later she informed me that the only time she got to hear our heartbeats as babies was on the fetal monitor in the delivery room.  So this was a first for both of us.  And let me tell you, there is no sound quite as spectacular as the sound of that little heartbeat.  It's alive!!!!  I also got to see the heart beating via the ultrasound.  It was going 110bpm (beats per minute).  The doc said this was very good as they were looking for a rate between 100-120bpm at this early stage.  That will increase as the fetus grows, but so far I was right on target.  It's alive!!! Wait, did I already say that?  I just can't help myself.  Seeing and hearing my baby for the first time absolutely took my breath away.  And at that moment everything seemed so much more real to me.  This was happening!  It isn't my imagination or a crazy dream, this is really happening.  I am carrying life around inside me that I created.

Here is a close-up.  Doesn't look like much but I'm so proud!

I, and I hear this is pretty true across the board, felt at that moment like I was the only pregnant woman on the planet and that everything going on inside me was truly a miracle at work.  There really are no words that can possibly describe the feelings I'm speaking of.  I'm sure other moms know exactly what I'm talking about.  But for women who have never experienced this before, and sadly for all men, this is an experience that shadows all other experiences.  Well at least it is so far.  As I mentioned at the beginning of this entry, I am sure I'll be repeating those words numerous times in the coming months...and that makes me uber excited!  To know I get to have more of these moments and they are all going to subsequently top each other in making my jaw drop, well there just isn't anything better on the planet that I can imagine!

As a matter of fact, I get to go back in on the 30th for my 8 week ultrasound.  I can't wait to see what the little one will look like then.  I know what to expect by Googling 8-week ultrasound pics, but it won't be the same as witnessing it for myself.  After my 8 week ultrasound, I finally get my first official "I'm pregnant" OBGYN appointment on Sept. 10th.  I have decided to go with the doc who delivered my niece Haven and has come highly recommended by several people I know.  My OBGYN retired, so I have been on the hunt for a new one, and now that I'm pregnant it made my choice relatively easy.  My fertility doc was happy with my choice and has already gotten all my info over to my new doc's office.  So it looks like I'm all set on moving this adventure along to the next phase.

Another fun moment of that ultrasound way was getting the first pics of my little bean (see pics above).  As the doc preformed the ultrasound he printed out several pics for me to take home and show everyone.  As I was checking out the receptionists ogled over the pics like they had never seen such awesomeness before!  And it was great walking out of the office and back into the waiting room with the pics in hand.  Since I hadn't bounced around the room shouting for joy before, this was my silent way of getting that "I'm pregnant" moment out to those still waiting.  I was even congratulated in the elevator whilst leaving the building...totally awesome!

And one more amazing thing...still no morning sickness!  I'm quite pleased that I have yet to hurl due to my "condition."  I really expected to be a puker as I've always had an easily upset stomach.  But so far, so good.  Not even a hint of nausea.

Free and clear so far!

 As a matter of fact, I still don't have all that many pregnancy symptoms.  I sometimes get fatigued easily but nothing too drastic, I do have to pee quite a bit more than usual but nothing too urgent has occurred, I have yet to develop food aversions or cravings, and while my boobs are still a bit sore and have grown a cup size (woohoo!), they seem to have leveled out on the growth spurt for the moment.  I will admit that my waistline has already began to expand, though.  My worst symptom besides random hunger is the bloating.  The bloating is the worst.  I actually had to finally break down and go buy maternity pants.

They're really not the bad.

It is really early to be moving into those, at least from what I have read, but my ass was not fitting into my other pants anymore.  For the past couple of weeks I have been strictly in dresses and skirts.  I finally decided I couldn't go another day without pants and went to the maternity store.  While most of my not fitting into my old pants is mostly bloating right now, I'm okay with the maternity pants.  They are remarkably comfortable and I have enough of a bump that they seem like a reasonable purchase at this point.  I'm looking forward to watching them expand along with my belly.  I always believed pregnancy would be the most amazing experience in the world, and so far I am completely correct.  I haven't had a bad day yet, and hopefully I'll continue to be lucky in that regard.

Well it's about time for me to gather up my mom and go for our 3-mile walk we've been doing regularly as of  recent.  I'm trying to get back into some sort of exercise routine now that I am less delicate than I was, or at least felt.  I want to keep myself healthy and fit throughout the pregnancy, and walking is about the best exercise I can do right now.  So on that note, I will leave you all for the moment and get back to my Sunday.  Hope everyone has had a nice weekend and I'll be back soon.

Oh, one final word.  I know I had mentioned that there was a possibility of up to three babies based on my mature follicles.  I was relieved to find I was preggers with only one baby, as now I can relax a little more and know I'll be able to focus my attention and spoiling on just the one.  I am already thinking, however, since I am only pregnant with the one, that I may turn around and try for a second wee-one before I turn 40.  My 38th is coming up on the 27th, so I won't have much time after this one is born, but I think I can do it.  Something to ponder...

Even The Dude is happy dancing for me!!!

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Walking on Sunshine

Woooah, and don't it feel good! 

*happy dances*

Finally getting around to updating again and boy have a lot of things changed!  Last time I blogged, a real blog not just a quick announcement, I was gearing up for my mid-cycle ultrasound preceding my 3rd round of IUI.  The ultrasound went great!  I ended up having 3 follicles (future eggs) ready for release.  One large one in my left ovary and two slightly smaller but still mature ones in my right.  Basically this meant the Clomid worked like a charm!  

Basically, this is what the follicles look like via ultrasound. 

Besides finding out I had a few good eggs, I also was informed via afternoon phone call that my blood test indicated I was actually having my LH surge and that I would need to come back in the following morning for the IUI.  This came as somewhat of a surprise considering the OPKs (Ovulation predictor kits) were still reading negative.  I had explained to my doc that I felt I was ovulating earlier than the OPK was predicting the previous months, and don't you know that a woman knows her body way better than any instrument of science!  Basically what I'm saying here is that I was right!  

When the doc called me with the surge news, he also informed me I would no longer need to take the Ovidrel shot he had prescribed me.  Since this shot is for inducing ovulation, and I was obviously once again ovulating on my own without a hitch, this meant the shot was obsolete.  Well, I hate to admit this, but I took my fertility into my own hands at this point.  Although I was about to ovulate naturally, I read that some docs still had their patients take the shot as a little "extra boost."  I figured what the heck?  Couldn't hurt right?  Basically I wanted to guarantee that I ovulated within the right time-frame of my IUI and that all three of those eggs would release.  I know this increases the chance of multiples, but it also, more importantly, increases the chance of pregnancy as a whole.  And this being my 3rd IUI, I was ready for this to work!

I thought long and hard about taking the Ovidrel shot, did my research, weighed my options, and at 12:30pm I injected myself.  I felt I was truly making the right choice, and I had already proven once that my intuition was correct.  I did not however inform my doc of this move during my IUI the following morning.  Now I need to say here that I in no way condone making these types of decisions for yourself unless you are really comfortable with it and willing to accept fault if something goes wrong.  I have always been remarkably in-tune with my body, probably all those years of being a ballet dancer, and I just knew I was making the right decision.  Well, I guess I was once again correct (or it could just be coincidence) because I am pregnant!!!!  Okay, trying not to get ahead of myself, so I'll backtrack to the IUI.

I am the kind of girl who feels things deeply and takes things as signs (INFJ remember?).  My mom is Wiccan and I have a great deal of Pagan in me.  Mother nature gives us all kinds of signs, and there were several this month that pointed to a positive outcome.  Here is a brief synopsis of those:

Just knew this was going down!

1. My nieces stayed with us over the weekend post ultrasound and pre IUI.  My youngest niece is learning the art of reading Runes.  Her first simple reading, asking a simple yes or no question, revealed the answer as a very strong positive!  She informed us afterwards the question was about whether or not I would be pregnant this month.  The force is strong with that one!
2. My IUI, for the first time, went off without a hitch.  My cervix gave the doctors problems on both the first and second ones.  The first time it just wouldn't open right and it took two tries to insert the catheter.  On the second one my cervix pushed the catheter back out and once again it took a second try to do the injection.  On this 3rd go round the catheter went in with no resistance whatsoever!
3. My doctor told my mom in the hallway after the IUI that he would be seeing us in two weeks for my pregnancy blood test.  No word this time to call if I started my period.  It's like he even knew that this time was the right time.
4. I found my lost fertility gris-gris my mom gave me (remember I said she was Wiccan).  It had mysteriously disappeared out of my purse and mysteriously reappeared in my office chair a few days after my IUI.  And call me superstitious or whatever, but I immediately placed it under my mattress so it could work it's magic on my girly parts at night.  
5. My nipples never stopped hurting the entire two week wait.  This same symptom had occurred with my first IUI.  That was the one where I mysteriously started my period 6 days post IUI and a good full week ahead of schedule.  That was due to my uterine lining not being as thick as it needed to be to maintain a pregnancy, hence why they put me on meds to fix that issue.  I swear that first IUI worked, and I started bleeding (excuse the TMI) around the time implantation should have occurred.  In  my head I just know the two are connected--egg was fertilized, tried to implant in a non-ready uterus, and boom, fail!  I could be wrong, but I find it awfully coincidental that the sore nipple symptom was extremely prevalent in the first and third IUIs.  After both of them I just felt like it had worked.  I never really felt that way after the second one, although I maintained a positive outlook just the same.
6. My boobs began to swell.  I'm not a large girl, so any increase in breast size is definitely noticeable.  And they started to get sore after about a week and a half.  I just knew that was a good sign! 

So there you go, all my signs that to me were indicative of a successful IUI.  So when did I actually find out I was preggers you ask?  I had the IUI on July 16th and on July 24th I decided to test with an HPT (Home Pregnancy Test).  No, I wasn't expecting it to pick up any pregnancy hormones at this point.  This test was just to see if the Ovidrel shot had left my body yet.  You see, the Ovidrel contains hCG, the pregnancy hormone, and it can give you a false positive on an HPT if it has not yet left your system.  So when the HPT came back negative, I knew that any test showing a positive after that one would not be a false positive.  By that Friday, the 27th, I was itching to take another HPT!  I just knew in my soul that it was going to be positive!  I got up that morning and went straight to the bathroom to do the deed.  However, I then realized I was out of HPTs...the horror!  So I did the next best thing and pee'd on an OPK.  Now an OPK cannot reliably predict a pregnancy.  It is designed to pick up the LH hormone but can also pick up the hCG hormone.  Those two hormones have almost identical chemical make-ups.  One website describes them as being identical twins except that the hCG twin is wearing a hat.  

http://www.peeonastick.com/opkhpt.html

An OPK can pick up the hCG hormone along with the LH hormone, but an HPT can only pick up the hCG.  This is why you are not really supposed to use one in place of the other.  But I was anxious and used the OPK anyway.  And low and behold it was showing a faint positive line.  Normally I do not have a faint positive unless I am getting ready to have my LH surge.  So I took this as a very good sign and on the way to work I stopped in at the drug store and picked up some First Response 6 Days Sooner tests.  These are supposed to be the most sensitive ones on the market, so they seemed liked the right choice.

After getting to work, I waited about an hour and then couldn't stand it any long...I had to pee on one!  And the result?  A definite, albeit somewhat faint second line...a positive line!  WOOHOO!!!!  At 3:30 am, after waking from a dream that this was all in my head, I had to pee on another one...the second line was darker.  At 2:30pm later that day, I did it again...and once again the line had gotten darker!  I definitely was not crazy, all sticks pointed to a baby!

Top one is from the 27th and bottom is from the 28th!

Monday morning I called my doc and they had me come in for my blood work on Tuesday the 31st.  I anxiously waited all day for a callback.  At 4pm I finally got that callback.  My hCG levels were at 242.7, a very good number if not a little above average for where I am in my pregnancy.  I now have to go in again tomorrow for a second blood test to make sure my hCG levels are rising as they should and also to check my progesterone levels to make sure they are in the normal range.  

Needless to say, I am overly joyed and bouncing off the walls!!!  So far I am not really having any major pregnancy symptoms except for fatigue, needing to pee a lot, swollen boobs, and of course the ever fun bloating!  My progesterone meds also cause bloating, so I'm doubled up in that respect right now...literally!  But no morning sickness or weird cravings or other such stuff as of yet.  I'm sure those will be kicking in within the next two weeks, so you'll be hearing about all that soon enough.  

Well once again that catches everyone up to the present moment.  I would have blogged about it sooner, but just wanted to hold off knowing that the next time I got on here I would be sharing tremendously terrific news!  Hopefully everything will continue to go smoothly and I won't have any problems.  I am perfectly aware that there is always a chance for miscarrying this early on, hence why a lot of people choose not to announce a pregnancy till after the first trimester.  Some would say it is even bad luck.  However in my case, since I have chosen to document everything as it occurs, I felt it important to go ahead an announce the  news.  I will deal with things as they come, but I have that deeply felt intuition that everything will be hunky-dory!   

So amazing!  Best week ever!

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