Whale Wars

Yep, that seems about right!

From the title of this post, you may have guessed that at this point in my pregnancy I am seriously feeling like a whale.  As of today, I am 8 days from my due date if you go by my last missed period.  If you go by the actual IUI, I am six days out.  Either way, I'm about to bust an alien out my stomach...at least that's how I look and feel!

I have been patiently awaiting Piper's arrival, and seriously expected her to be here by now.  She ran about a week ahead of schedule from the moment she was a little bean at her first ultrasound.  So I assumed she would be running a week early by the time nine months rolled around.  Well, I'm beginning to question whether or not she will be early or be like her mom, induced because she was eleven days late and snuggled up where it was nice and warm.  Maybe I've made my womb to cozy of a place for Miss Piper?  But it cannot be that cozy anymore, there cannot possibly be any room in there for her to move.

I am now going to my OB every Friday for check-ups.  Friday before last, there was nothing much going on.  This past Friday, I was dilated only 1 cm and although she could tell I'd been having contractions, there wasn't much else besides a softening cervix to write home about.  Although I did think I had broken my water the night before my appointment, but after my check-up it seems that I just have a lot of extra fluids escaping the hoo-hah...which is a sign of contractions.

I am officially on full maternity leave as of last Thursday.  I made this decision mainly based on the fact my sleep patterns are screwed to all hell and back.  I cannot seem to get comfy and I've had a few nights where contractions kept me up, as well as thirty minute pee breaks, until the point that at 4am I am still tossing and turning.  But every night that I experience contractions, by the next morning I am able to sleep and they have completely stopped.  Ugh!!!  That is so frustrating!  Last night I had continual Braxton Hicks for hours but still no sign of true labor!

I have always heard that the last few weeks of a pregnancy are agonizing not only in the fact your uncomfy and ready to give birth, but the waiting game is excruciatingly painful in how slow and drawn out it can feel.  Now I know what all those mothers had been talking about all these years.  It's not easy going every day just waiting for the first real painful contractions...and wanting it.  I never imagined I would feel so excited and anxious and completely okay with shoving what last week they were calling a pumpkin (that sounds much worse than a watermelon, huh?) out my va-jay-jay.  But I have to admit, I'm looking forward to giving birth.

While I used to have ridiculous fears about labor and delivery, especially after seeing that film in junior high, I'm now more on the excited-to-be-experiencing-a-new-life-event kind of mode.  I think I am mentally prepared for the pain and discomfort of it all.  I say that now, I'm sure my tune will change when I'm in the middle of it all.  But for the time being, I'm a bit giddy.

Of course, these past couple of weeks have also had a mental toll on me.  I've had some dramatic mood swings, my apologies for those in their wake.  I'm sure it has everything to do with anxiety and raging hormones.  Hell, I'm a woman, when does my existence not revolve around raging hormones?  It's pretty much a woman's lot in life to carry the hormonal weight of the world on her shoulders, isn't it?  I know I'm not alone in thinking us women get the short of the hormonal stick when it comes to everyday existence.  I know there are a ton of men out there who would agree, right?  Hahahahahahaha!

Anyway, besides my mood swings, I'm to the point where actually getting around is becoming a chore.  I went into work a couple of hours yesterday to finish up some things, yes I know I just said I was on maternity leave but sometimes you gotta do what ya gotta do, and sitting at my desk did nothing but send shooting pains through my tailbone.  My office chair is usually not all that bad, but when you go from 135 lbs to 198 lbs, things change!  Yes, I admit that I am almost 200 lbs now!!!  I was at 202 but lost 4 lbs last week.  I've been peeing a lot, so that is probably why.  But let me explain the weight thing...some of you may have heard this before, but let's recap...

Before I decided to get pregnant, 135 was my typical weight unless I was on an extreme workout kick.  My healthy weight is 135, and I carry it very well!  Once the pregnancy process began and they put me on Clomid and progesterone, I shot up to 155 in a span of two months.  These meds are known for causing weight gain, mainly through water retention, and I consider myself lucky since gaining 40lbs on them is nothing unusual.  I'm lucky I got pregnant so quickly, that is.  After I got pregnant my weight gain has been pretty typical.  A little over 40lbs is not an unusual amount of pregnancy weight to gain.  Mostly mine has been all water, as my legs are pretty swollen all the way down.  The funny thing is is that no one can believe I am as heavy as I am.  Most people are pretty shocked and ask where I'm hiding the weight.  Then I kindly remind myself that they have obviously forgotten the actual size of my ass and thighs pre-pregnancy!  It's nice of them to think I still look like I did before I got huge, besides the belly, but seriously folks!  I'm about to post a pic of my pre-pregnant ass, just so we can be clear on what it looked like before!

Yep, that'd be my butt!

Say what you will of this tasteless shot, but that was me in my booty shorts at the club for some random event...no it wasn't Halloween, but a dj's going away party where we all dressed up old skool.  Now I do not typically go club hopping in booty shorts anymore, but this was a special occasion, and since I could still pull them off, why not!?!?  Anyway, it gives a general idea of how my ass once looked.  Here is another pic to check out the gams...

See those small thighs?

As you can tell from this pic, I once had slender thighs that didn't even think about touching!  Now my knees are as big as my thighs once were, and that ain't no lie!  But hey, it's worth it.  And after Piper is born, and I lose all the excess water, they'll be back down to normal size...well let's hope so.  I honestly, without looking at these pics, don't remember how my legs used to look.  All I know is that when I glance down in the shower I do not recognize the legs now attached to my body.  Like I said though, totally worth it at this point.  Speaking of knees, here is one last shot...

Mine are the ones on the left!

See, I did have actual knees once.  Now it's more like my whole leg is just one big chunk of flesh with no real distinction between thigh, knee, calf, and ankle.  Here is a pic from my shower, check out the mass thighs in this one by comparison!

I'm mean seriously not the same thighs!

No worries, I'll get my gams back one way or another!

Okay, enough about my lost shapely legs, that was a complete side track!  The point is, I'm a 200lb whale of a woman right now, getting around is about equivalent to a 200lb whale trying to walk on land, and I'm ready to get Piper here so I can drop some of that 200lbs in order to begin to feel halfway normal sized again.  I know it won't all instantly disappear right after delivery, but I'm ready for the process of shrinkage to begin!  More than that, I'm ready to start the next chapter of my life, mommyhood.  I'm more ready for that than anything else, and the waiting is killing me!  Every day is torturous, but I guess I don't really have much of a choice.  Piper will get here when she gets here, and no matter what I do I just have to wait until she's ready for that moment to arrive.  She could seriously get a move on with it, though!

Not only do I want her here so I can cuddle with her, I also want her here before she gets too much larger.  The prediction at my 4D ulttrasound was that she would be between 8.5-9lbs if she continued to grow as she was and went full term.  I'm no Spring chicken, so birthing a 9 pounder doesn't exactly sound enticing!  I tried to have a talk with her the other night about how much easier birth would be on both of us if she would go ahead and get here rather than continue to grow inside the womb...she basically ignored me.  I hoped she would listen to reason, but nope.  Oh well, seems she's going to be just like her mother!

Okay, I'll start wrapping things up by going over where I stand right now.  As of last Monday I began having tremendous pelvis pressure and pain.  Piper is fully head-down, engaged, and ready for take-off.  She has been putting quite a lot of pressure on me down in the pelvic region, but I'm getting used to it.  I often have extremely sharp pains shoot through my cervix.  They stop me dead in my tracks and sometimes actually make me yelp.  These are especially bad when compounded with the ever present need to pee.  I typically pee about once every 30 minutes or so now, especially when trying to go to sleep at night.  I have Braxton Hicks throughout the day, at night I sometimes have contractions more equivalent to false labor as they are very uncomfortable to say the least, but these typically occur when lying on my left side for some reason.  The amount of vaginal fluid I now produce is pretty ridiculous.  I mean seriously, where does it all come from?  It's like having a continual runny nose.  And the night I thought my water broke, I mean come on!  It was enough to make me think my water broke!  That's not normal nor something I should probably share with the world, but you know me!  My belly is now 48" in girth, and still growing, yay.  Getting out of bed now causes me to groan and flail a bit. When I sneeze I pee a little, and god forbid I have a coughing fit or get choked.  Lastly, and this one is just for giggles, I fart every time I sit down on the toilet, that's a fun one that cannot be controlled.  It's all fine and dandy until you're in a public restroom!

Well that about sums up where I am at this point.  Sorry for the lack of pics in this post, I will try to get some belly shots inserted over the next couple of days, but right now I am still in my pjs and not about to jump up and do a photo shoot.  Tomorrow I'll get up, shower, and get dressed.  Then I will snap a few pics, I've got to take some more shots of last minute additions to the nursery anyway, and I'll throw them in after that.  For now, you'll just have to use your imaginations!  Oh wait, I do have a few from Easter this past Sunday.  My family thought it would be funny if I played the role of Easter egg, and I completely nailed it!

Can you find the egg?

Yep, all belly!

Now you see me?

And here comes the broken record...

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Happy Holidays and All That Jazz

25 weeks and 5 days!

For this post I'll go ahead and start with the musical number of the day!  Since it's in the title, I figured why not add it to the blog as I love this little ditty.

Bob Fosse is my favorite choreographer, too!

I know, I know, it's been way too long since my last post.  The holidays kept me busy as they always do, but on top of that we also had a major ice/snow storm for these parts and spent from Christmas until yesterday with no electricity!  So I wasn't neglecting the blog, I just had no reasonable access to working internet.  I mean, who wants to try and write a blog from their cell phone?  Not this chica!

I am very happy to announce that I am moving into my third trimester this week, yay!!!  I've been told it is the roughest one due to the whale-like size increase, but I think I'm relatively prepared to deal with all that.  I mean hell, I fell out of my office chair a couple of weeks ago trying to pick up a prenatal vitamin I managed to miss my mouth with twice!  The change in size has already began to take its toll, and I kind of find it all a bit amusing.  While it can be annoying when trying to tie one's shoes, mostly I laugh at myself a lot and enjoy when others do, too. If you can't maintain your sense of humor you are doomed!

I see this is not a new concept!

So what's new with me right now...let's see....

I have absolutely horrible pitting edema in my left foot.  I have a bit of swelling in my right foot too, but nothing as compared to my left.  Basically, pitting edema is swelling that causes pits in the skin to remain after you push on the swollen area.  My pits last for well over a minute, so I've got it pretty bad.  I like to call the left foot the Stretch Armstrong foot.  Remember him?

Now do you remember?

Well whatever goo was inside that awesomest of toys, that is what is now inside my foot!  Well at least that is what it feels like.  It's smooshy and gooshy and pliable and just a wee bit icky, but it provides loads of entertainment when I'm feeling particularly bored.  What can I say, sometimes the day goes too slow!

I almost had an emotional breakdown Christmas Eve because Piper hadn't moved very much in a couple of days.  I actually had to leave my house and run some errands to get my head straight.  In all honesty, I ran to my office to take care of part of an X-mas gift, but I rushed the leaving of the house before my nieces got there.  I was so afraid they would ask about Piper and that I would burst into tears, so I hurried myself out the door before they arrived.  Everything is fine, no worries.  Apparently I am not the only soon-to-be mom who freaks out between 23 to 25 weeks along.  During these few weeks it is not uncommon for the baby's movements to decrease for a bit.  This can be caused by a number of reasons like moving to a different position, such as facing towards your spine and therefore kicks are harder to feel.  Also, the wee one could be sleeping more due to growth spurts.  Whatever the reason, I  found I was not the only pregnant woman on the planet to almost burst into tears from worry at this stage.  Two days after I almost broke down, Piper was back to her usual gymnastics and I am feeling oh so much better!

Over the break, my mom and I completed the painting of the nursery.  What an accomplishment!  I am so absolutely thrilled at what an amazing job we did.  We are practically Michaelangelos of the nursery world!  The cloud ceiling with the misty violet walls and citron crown moulding...it just all works so well together, even better than I expected.  And the fact that we did it all ourselves, that is remarkable in and of itself!  It couldn't have turned out more beautiful if we had paid professionals do it.  So kudos to us!  

Cloud ceiling with accidental bunny!

Misty violet walls with citron trim!

Another shot of it all sort of together!

Plates in citron and plug in violet!

Speaking of break, I had a couple of extra days off due to the ice/snow storm.  We had 10" of snow on top of a pretty good layer of ice Christmas night.  While it was absolutely gorgeous to look at, it made for a disaster the days following.

Lots of pretty!

Winter wonderland for sure!

Living in the deep South, snow is not something we have on a regular basis.  Therefore when we do, the whole city gets shut down.  Usually the whole town will shut down for even just an inch of the white stuff, but when 8-10" falls, it REALLY shuts down!  The layer of ice before the snow took it's toll on all of us.  We had two trees come down over the driveway to the house and another 6 or so in the backyard.  Granted the backyard goes right into the woods, but those were just the trees within the property boundaries.  In other words, it's a mess!

Tree almost took out the 4-wheeler!

Another angle of the largest tree that fell.

Of course, we were not the only household dealing with downed trees.  This occurred throughout the state.  Needless to say, this took out a chunk of the power lines everywhere!  We luckily had a generator purchased after the even worse ice storm of Christmas 2000, so we at least had some form of electricity...no internet, ability to do laundry, nor cook a hot meal, but heat and light and television (once it came back online).  And we did have internet access through our phones, so that was nice.  But in the end it was still an inconvenience to be trapped for a few days and have our creature comforts interrupted.  We finally got power restored yesterday, but there are still some I know who have yet to got their electricity back.  We may be a bit more careful around here when next wishing for a white Christmas...be careful what you wish for, for sure!  

(UPDATE:  just found out the power is back off again, sheesh! May be till midnight tomorrow before it is back on.  Happy New Year!)

Yeah, sure you do! Lie to me some more!

(UPDATE DOS: power is back on again!)

Now that we are back in the world of 21st century (for now), all is shaping up to be a nice ending to a remarkable year.  At the beginning of 2012 I had no idea by four months in I would be trying to have a baby solo.  It was not part of last years New Year's resolutions, it wasn't even on  my mind at that point.  As usual, however, life changes in the blink of an eye.  One mistake or misstep can open up a world of possibilities which turn that mistake/misstep into the greatest thing that could have ever happened to you.  Of course I am referring to my last relationship.  The proverbial straw that broke the camels back relationship.  I had no idea that that disastrous affair would become my turning point in life.  I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason, and I am never disappointed.  From every negative seed that is planted, something fruitful blooms.  It may take time for the positive to emerge, but it always does without fail.  Knowing that the good is just around the corner from the bad is one more reason to look forward instead of to the past.  I know, a bit Confucius says there, but it's 100% true!  I should really go back an thank every bad relationship I was ever in, for each and every one of them brought me to where I am today...they all brought Piper to me, and that is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in my life.  

I would like to remind people that not every relationship I had was bad.  Some were just bad timing, but quite good otherwise.  Timing can be everything.  So no I am not Miss Pessimistic when it comes to love.  I still believe in love and maybe now that I am past that push to make something work because my time to create life is running short, well maybe now I'll be more open to letting things take a more natural instead of pressured course.  Plus, I'll have Piper to worry about and that will also give me something else to weigh my decisions against.  No longer will it just be me in the equation, now it will be us.  Making good decisions for us instead of bad decisions for me because the consequences are so much greater, well that may just turn my dating life around somewhere down the line.  I'm not going to hold my breath on it, but we'll see.  I know quite a few single mothers who have found their true loves after the fact.  While none of them went my route with the choosing to be a single mom, the outcome is relatively the same.  They are still single mom's who didn't give up on finding that someone special because of past hurts.  They all got on with their lives, raised their kids to the best of their ability, and kept on trucking!  Cheers to the strong, single mothers of the world!

I do believe some single moms will get this!

Okay, I'm done with the sappy stuff for now!  On to some more baby updates!  As of yesterday, I was measuring at 44 1/2" around my belly, which is 2" up from Christmas Eve.  Wait, just measured again, I am now at 45" around! (see opening blog pic) Yep, expanding like crazy!  I absolutely adore the way I look.  I think I am more beautiful looking now than at my most fit in my 20s!  There is just something wonderfully stunning about the pregnant female body.  I love looking at myself in the mirror, not that I didn't before, but even now with the larger butt and thighs, not to mention the larger boobs, it all just seems breathtaking.  You ever see one of those Venus figurines?  

I'm not that big, but I get it now!

Sure they may be a bit over dramatic with the proportions, but they're pretty damn accurate overall.  I'm sure some women don't gain any extra weight anywhere but their belly, but I'm okay with the extra roundness I have come into.  I know most of it will leave once I give birth, so I'm not all that hung up on thinking my body will never be the same.  I mean it never probably will, but who gives a shit right?  I'm 38 and having a baby, it's not like my 22-year-old body is going to re-emerge afterwards.  I've definitely learned to be happy with my shape, and that's a blessing.  My ka-dunk-a-dunk is off the hook and it was quite fabulous to begin with, hahahaha!  

Oh yes, I still do!

Okay boys and girls, that about catches all things up to the present moment.  I have my next prenatal visit this  Friday, and I think I may be getting the glucose test then.  That'll be something to blog about!  Oh, and the nursery carpet goes in on Thursday.  I, of course, bought the highest grade available like a crazy person, so I can't wait to see it.  Very soon all the nursery furniture should start to trickle in.  The teacup bookcase got a little behind schedule as the artist got backed up, but it should be coming soon.  I'm thinking the dresser and chest should be here by the end of the month or very beginning of February at the latest.  And last but not least, the crib should be here mid to late February.  It was made to order so took about 11 weeks to complete and ship.  I'm anxious to get started on the decorating part as that is going to be a blast!  Also, I decided that instead of a valance for the window, I am going to have a fabric cornice board.

Love this style!

I've been eyeballing the arched one pictured above.  Of course it would be done in the harlequin fabric and I am still pondering what other fabric I would use for the ties in the middle.  Or...

I adore this one, too!

I could go with this simpler one and have just the harlequin fabric with an accent froo-froo dangle piece (artistic technical terms there).  Either way, I'm going with the cornice board!  From there the main harlequin curtains would be tied back on either side with the colored sheers in the middle.  It all works perfectly in my head, you will all just have to trust me on this one.

Well that about completes my entry for today.  It's Monday, I was off four days last week and will be off again tomorrow, so I should probably get back to work.  I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas or whatever holiday it is you may celebrate.  And I hope everyone has a great New Year!  I'm looking forward to having my best year ever so far!  Just think, a little over 3 more months and Piper will be here!  You will all get your next up-close look at her around the 15th of this month, however, when I get my 4-D ultrasound done.  I'm very excited about it and cannot wait to share the videos with the world!  But for now, take care and be happy!

Now time for the repeat...

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Until next time...

The End...get it?